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All right. 00:00:08
OK guys, we've got a good day here. Welcome to the 2024 Council retreat. 00:00:11
We're going to. 00:00:18
We're going to start off with. 00:00:20
A program around Enneagram. Karen, welcome. Glad you're here with us today. We'll get to that in a minute after some brief 00:00:23
remarks. But I just want to kind of set the table for what we want to what we want to accomplish today. 00:00:29
We want to set our course for the year. We want to talk about some ideas for the future. We want to ensure that we're all aligned 00:00:36
together in terms of how we're thinking. I think that's one of the great strengths of our group over the past few years. 00:00:42
You know, we have this conversation, we get aligned and then we're able to give staff the direction that they need so that there's 00:00:48
not a lot of. 00:00:51
Not a lot of controversy and dramas. The work gets done because we've given a clear vision and ideas of what that work program 00:00:55
should be. 00:00:58
And frankly, I think we just do wonderful work together. But I think a key part of that is us having this time every year. 00:01:01
To set the table for that. 00:01:07
One of the ways that at Christine's suggestion that I thought could be interesting for thinking about how we work together and 00:01:10
also how staff intersects with us and with each other is through the Enneagram process. So Karen is going to walk us through that 00:01:14
in a few minutes. 00:01:17
But I did just want to reflect on a few things from the past past year. Sharon did a great job and her five year summary of how 00:01:22
far we've come over five years and that was really a a great meeting and a tremendous opportunity to reflect on that. But when we 00:01:27
think back on the past year. 00:01:32
All of Mark's efforts and Toby's leadership around the beautification of the. 00:01:38
The connections we're creating connections we're creating among our citizens the transformative preservation opportunity at the 00:01:43
Thomas Farm Preserve. 00:01:47
The DDA and what we're doing downtown and the progress that we've seen there already, Rocket Fields been brought back to life. I 00:01:52
was there yesterday afternoon and I was there on Saturday. We've had softball out there both days we had. 00:01:58
Kids playing on The Net Climber had people walking dogs around. It was really great to see that we've built miles of sidewalks in 00:02:04
the past year. 00:02:08
We've hosted our three massive events with no hiccups. The Halloween event, Christmas Parade and the Fall Festival all went off. 00:02:12
With without a hitch last year, we've continued to grow our tax base, seeing continued progress at Wire Park and everything that's 00:02:19
happening out there. 00:02:23
We've got. 00:02:28
You know, we've got a full downtown still, you know, I mean there's there's not a, Kate was telling me the other day if we had had 00:02:30
it had a bunch more spaces, she could fill them all up. So. So that's inspiring. 00:02:35
As I said earlier, we've continued to beautify our city. Our city remains safe and then we've had very low turnover here at City 00:02:41
Hall too in terms of our employee base and share and that's a credit to your leadership and that of your department heads and 00:02:45
we're grateful for that, so. 00:02:48
A lot of opportunities in the year ahead. As we get into 2024, we'll talk more about that, but know that I'm grateful for each of 00:02:53
you, excited about where we've been, but I'm even more excited about where we're going. 00:02:58
But with that, Karen, we're going to turn it over to you and let you give. 00:03:03
Time and education on our personalities and those that we that we work closely with so that we can continue to do and even 00:03:07
hopefully an even better job of collaborating and advancing the city. 00:03:12
Yeah, I really appreciate you all inviting me. I feel honored to be here. I appreciate all that you do for the city of 00:03:19
Watkinsville. We've lived here. 00:03:23
For a little over 20 years since we made that from Europe, that is actually where I was introduced to the Indiagram and I've been 00:03:28
studying it and utilizing it for about 30 years now. It's been helpful in my marriage, in my relationships with my now growing 00:03:37
children and in many work relationships. I use it as part of I do coaching in the New Gram with individuals and. 00:03:46
Couples and staff of different organizations. 00:03:55
And I I hope that each of you find value in what each year I share today. 00:04:00
So I'll start with saying thank you for being willing to take the ready test. Even though it's the most reliable of all the 00:04:05
Enneagram tests, it's not necessarily accurate in determining your specific type. Other tests like the Marsh Grids and St. 00:04:13
Finders, those are considered static tests in that they tell you things about yourself that are true and that's very helpful. But 00:04:20
the Enneagram is considered a dynamic. 00:04:28
System of personality in that it illuminates patterns in your life and those patterns. 00:04:36
Can be changed depending on your awareness of them and your desire to want to do that. So that's why sometimes the test will put 00:04:44
you in the category of your number but not necessarily pin down what you are. So I'm hoping today that as we go through this, 00:04:51
you'll start to recognize, oh, that that rings true for me. 00:04:59
I think that will take breaks at different points, so if you have questions or want to interact on it. 00:05:09
Will be able to do that and then I'll be here for lunch if anybody has any follow up questions. 00:05:16
So with that, I'll kind of. 00:05:22
We've all developed and adopted kind of a particular style of living. It's the pattern of the way we manage our emotions, deal 00:05:25
with conflicts and difficulties, and these have usually been with us since childhood, and they're not necessarily inherently 00:05:32
negative their strategies we used to survive and take care of ourselves. 00:05:40
So the Enneagram, even though it seems like it's not a filing system for people, it's about learning to be present in our own 00:05:48
lives. My favorite quote about the Enneagram is your type is not who you are, it's who shows up when you don't. 00:05:56
And if you think about that, we can all relate to that. We've been through a whole day. We've gotten a ton of stuff done. But if 00:06:05
we were to really think back, we don't remember necessarily being present. 00:06:11
With someone or in the moment. And so that's how we what we want to do with immigrant is wanted to kind of be awake and pay 00:06:17
attention to these patterns that are running and and when we can turn from these patterns to just being present. 00:06:25
That's when we're able to live our life to the fullness that we're meant today. And I just don't want to accentuate that Presence 00:06:34
isn't something you add to your activity list for today being present. It's what we do to be in the life that we're living. 00:06:43
Umm. And so we have to pay attention to these patterns before we can, even if we want to do anything to change. 00:06:52
So I want. 00:07:02
Mention a quote by Viktor Frankel who was a neurologist who survived the Nazi prison camps. He lost his wife and both both parents 00:07:05
city camps. He's written numerous books but one quote which wasn't written about the enogram, but I think Tyson really nicely 00:07:11
here. 00:07:17
Between stimulus and resp. 00:07:23
There is a space. 00:07:27
Then that space is our power to choose our response. 00:07:29
In our response was our freedom and growth. 00:07:34
And I think that's really powerful because most of us are just zooming through the day so much. We're not. We have to be present 00:07:38
to even notice that space to know that there is a time when we can choose to do something that we've always done before. 00:07:46
And so just a final thought before we kind of get into the meat of the session. 00:07:54
It's always tempting to want to figure out what all your coworkers and friends and your partner what they are. And while that's 00:08:01
interesting and can be a good discussion. 00:08:05
The only person you can change is you. 00:08:12
And the exciting thing about that is when we begin to change even relationships that were in that have some tension or problems, 00:08:14
when we begin to change that relationship against change, whether they do or not. 00:08:21
But I'm hopeful that this will be just a platform, that you guys can learn some things. I'll be leaving with you just some little 00:08:29
question books. They're just kind of fun for the different types. And you can just look through those and and start to get a sense 00:08:35
of, oh, that's why he approaches things this way and I approach them this way. It's not that either one of you are wrong, it's 00:08:42
just that you're wired together differently. 00:08:48
So does that make sense? OK. 00:08:56
So we'll start. The way the Enneagram works is broken into three triads, basically the body or gut, the heart and the head types. 00:08:59
And I always like to start by saying it doesn't mean that if you're a heart type, you never think or you don't feel things in your 00:09:04
gut. 00:09:10
I It's just that that's kind of where the process begins for you. In fact, there's a neurologist in Atlanta that has written a 00:09:16
book. He works with people who have not been able to deal with pain in any traditional method and with the Enneagram. He flipped 00:09:24
the diagram over the brain and recognized that the function. 00:09:31
Of each of the numbers lines up with where it happens in the brain. I thought that was really cool. 00:09:40
And so his his whole premise is that we can access all the parts of our brain, and so as we grow and become present, we can access 00:09:46
all the attributes of all the numbers. It's just we tend to have a pattern that takes us down one path more than another. In fact, 00:09:53
one of the authors of the Enneagram sometimes says. 00:10:00
Probably not found your member until you feel just a little bit sick to your stomach. 00:10:09
Because it feels like it's exposed you just a little bit. 00:10:14
But we'll start with the body or gut types. 00:10:17
Karen, let me ask you real quick. Did Sharon, did everybody in the room take, take the test? Does it make sense like I I hate that 00:10:21
it feels like we're sitting here and you're hearing from us and the staff as their you have their back to the staff we. 00:10:27
Rearrange a little bit. So like should we slide care in this way and have staff come forward So we're all doing this together 00:10:34
versus. 00:10:37
You know, staff sitting behind. 00:10:41
I just hate for you. I mean, because you guys are part of this too. Like it feels like, you know? 00:10:45
Put yellow on that side. I got one room for one over here, but we could cut people and that makes us, and I'm glad to stand if 00:10:50
that would be easier. I'm just thinking to make it like a little bit more of a circle here and that way staff can kind of be part 00:10:55
of the conversation as opposed to sitting on the outside. 00:11:00
Good morning, Sir. 00:11:07
Space over here for one, and then we'll put. 00:11:10
If you need me to move a little bit just let me know. 00:11:13
On the other side of her so. 00:11:18
Back just a little bit. 00:11:22
That's good. 00:11:25
Any 2 tables. 00:11:28
I can't get too much further on here. 00:11:31
I just do what I'm told most time. 00:11:37
Part of the exercise you make is put something together as a team, and that's right, yeah. 00:11:42
Seeing if you're present. 00:11:51
Yeah. Yeah. That feels better. All right. Yeah. Yeah. 00:11:54
The individual. 00:12:01
That feels better, OK? 00:12:09
We'll start with usually an 80 gram, even though it seems. 00:12:14
Counterintuitive. We start with the number 8, the gut, because that's where you feel it in your stomach. 00:12:19
So those numbers are 8 nines and once you how all have your test results you can just see which are your top numbers and probably 00:12:27
your type will be somewhere in there. But those are just ones you can pay attention to. So the gut people anger is an issue for 00:12:35
them and they all want respect. Now again not that anger won't show up in all of our lives, but that's just kind of their go to 00:12:42
emotion. 00:12:49
Because they all want respect. They all have issues at some level or another with being told what to do. 00:12:57
This undercurrent of I don't want to be messed with, although this plays out a little differently in each of the three types. 00:13:04
And they have an intuitive, gut feeling way of making their way through the world. 00:13:12
And they can tend to be preoccupied, either positively or negatively, with the physical aspects of life. 00:13:19
Eight want direct, outward solutions to problems they don't want to mess around and they don't want to be messed with. Nines can 00:13:26
often express their emotions physically. 00:13:32
You will hear Nine say, oh, I'm not angry, I'm not upset, but boy, I have a bad headache or my stomach really hurts, so it often 00:13:40
comes out in a physical way. 00:13:45
Ones can tend to deny their own feelings. 00:13:50
There's just kind of an undercurrent of frustration with them because things aren't being done well and they can be critical of 00:13:54
people or places where people just feel really free to express what they think. So we're going to go a little bit deeper into each 00:14:01
of these numbers I'm just trying to get us into. 00:14:07
What section do you want up? 00:14:16
Then there are the heart types, which are twos, threes and fours. And I do want to say I have notes that I will leave with all of 00:14:19
you. I just don't tend to give them out beforehand because it defeats the whole purpose of being present. 00:14:25
The heart types are twos, threes, and fours, and they're all concerned with image. 00:14:32
And then shame can be an issue for them. 00:14:37
There's kind of this underlying see me as I want to be. 00:14:40
They're all about managing their image and ignoring their own needs. 00:14:44
When they're angry, they can demand attention and validation. 00:14:49
And they do all of this just a little differently To do it manage their shame or their desire to be perceived in a certain way by 00:14:54
being loving and kind. 00:15:00
3 Stuart by being successful and valuable. 00:15:06
And fours do it by being unique or. 00:15:10
And I think kind of a key element to this group is that these types want to be seen, but more importantly they want to be found 00:15:14
without putting themselves out there. None of these types would be like hey hey look at me, but they all desire to be validated 00:15:21
and found worthy. 00:15:27
And then the head types are 5-6 and seven. 00:15:35
When these types are present, they have quiet minds and clarity. They're concerned with safety and security. Who or what can I 00:15:39
trust? That's just kind of always in the back of their mind. 00:15:45
Emotionally, they can get lost in their heads. Sometimes I've heard somebody say, I feel like I think my feelings rather than feel 00:15:52
them. I can state what I should be feeling, but I don't really feel it. I just know it. 00:15:59
When they're healthy, they're trustworthy and you can count on them. 00:16:09
But their big issue is fear or anxiety. They want, certainly. And when they're not, they can become anxious. 00:16:12
And being present in the moment and not living in their heads trying to figure things out can really give them the security 00:16:20
they're looking for. 00:16:25
OK, we'll stop there. 00:16:29
Did anyone of those groups bring out for you like, OK, those are my people. 00:16:32
OK. 00:16:40
Since we're all live here, I don't ask for people to share unless they want to. 00:16:42
Any surprises there? Not really. 00:16:50
Well, it's just so it's interesting at least for me. I had my top three were in all three different categories, Yes. And that 00:16:55
happens sometimes because that that probably indicates that you're very well balanced that you're showing up. But as we go through 00:17:03
this today, hopefully one of these will really resonate more with you and there are. 00:17:11
OK. Any other comments or questions or thoughts? I have a question. 00:17:58
In the past, when you've done these and you've done them in different settings in different groups, you find that you know, like 00:18:04
our setting being. 00:18:08
Political and. 00:18:12
Staff setting, all with a similar agenda. Do you find that those? 00:18:15
The numbers of. 00:18:20
Kind of gravitate towards a certain group, yeah. Versus being more diverse like. 00:18:22
You know, yeah, that's a really good observation. I did note that that you have a lot of helpers. You have a lot of beautiful 00:18:28
people you have. 00:18:32
A couple of challengers which you really need and you have some. 00:18:37
Peacemakers, Nines are peacemakers and that's always good an organization to have people who can see both sides of an issue and 00:18:43
bring clarity. So I did see kind of a a skewed thing that way. There were certain numbers I didn't see very many of and I can see 00:18:51
that this would be a real service oriented group just from those if if that helps. What did you not see much of Karen's? 00:19:00
Let's see. I didn't see a lot of fours. 00:19:10
4 Fives And that's not to say one of you all can't be that. It's just those weren't your high scores. 00:19:15
A lot of. 00:19:23
Yeah, those were maybe the main two I didn't see. There were a scattering of almost all the other numbers and high in a few, so it 00:19:27
seemed like there were a fair number of nines. But there are a lot of nines in the world. I'm a nonsense. OK, so we'll start with 00:19:33
the the. 00:19:39
They basically want to shake everyone up and have them join the world. 00:19:48
They pour out energy, sometimes to get things done, sometimes out of a sense of false power. They offer the gift of presence and 00:19:52
aliveness. 00:19:58
Everyone needs their eight energy to keep us from collapsing when we need to speak our truth. 00:20:05
Eights one up sometimes protect their vulnerability. They don't like to show weakness, so they will protect that by building a 00:20:11
wall around their heart. But the problem with that is sometimes that wall can become. 00:20:18
A castle that keeps them closed up and unable to really make those emotional connections with people. 00:20:26
So to go over just the basics, your essential qualities are strength, aliveness. 00:20:34
Ability to get things done and being an advocate for others. 00:20:41
Your divine strength is confidence, vibrancy, and aliveness. 00:20:46
Their fear is of being controlled or dominated. 00:20:51
Their core suffering, which this is kind of the deeper issue that might be going on, is lust. And not less as you think of it, but 00:20:55
the not the behavior, but something deeper, kind of feeling disconnected. So they can use their anger to obscure their loneliness 00:21:02
or disconnected and that helps them to feel alive just because they're showing a lot of emotion and in conflict they can 00:21:09
intimidate. 00:21:15
And the fixation of pattern that shows with them can be vengeance. Staying with thoughts in their mind can keep them stuck. If 00:21:25
something has happened, they can't let go of it and they're going to stick with that. 00:21:31
And your pay attention point, the tap on your shoulder that maybe something is you're kind of not present and you are going down 00:21:38
your path is when you feel your energy getting big like. 00:21:45
Incredible. Hall just can feel it bubbling out. And so at that point, if you pay attention growth for you will be choosing to be 00:21:53
vulnerable and to hold hurt and let your walls down and recognize that you can have power in your sensitivity. Your power doesn't 00:22:00
have to come just from. 00:22:08
Being a big personality and taking charge, but you can be just as powerful when you're sensitive. 00:22:16
OK. 00:22:23
Do I have anybody that's like maybe that's my number? Don't have to commit if you don't want to. 00:22:25
Yeah, yeah. Way higher on that. 00:22:34
And that's good to know. You know, when I take tests, I like score nothing on an 8. I mean literally two or three points. And so 00:22:46
over the years, I've tried to really be present and access that because you'll hear talk about the wings on the Enneagram. And 00:22:54
what that basically means is it's the number on either side of you. And that is not like a huge component of the Enneagram. 00:23:03
I've heard one speaker refer to it. It's your seasoning packet. You can be flavored a little bit this way or a little bit that 00:23:12
way. And and you do like I have a number of nine friends and I have A1 wing and I can relate, I have that black and white kind of 00:23:20
side to me rather than a more intense side. So that might help you. If you do have two numbers that are different, it could be 00:23:28
that one of them is your wing and that is kind of swaying me that way. 00:23:36
OK, so. 00:23:45
Nas, Nas have incredible peacefulness. 00:23:48
You hear Sloth referred to them, but that's a shutting down or turning away. It's not laziness. It's a heaviness from 00:23:54
disengagement. 00:23:59
Being is the essence, an ability to come home to oneself, to land in grace. They literally are the place that all other numbers 00:24:04
want to come, to hang out because they're peaceful and easy to be around. 00:24:11
But it's hard for them to be with their emotions and not be swept away by. 00:24:18
Numbness can become the substitute for presence. You may think that nine that you're sitting with is totally. 00:24:24
They're miles away, in their head, somewhere else doing something else. 00:24:31
But their sensitivity stops being a problem when they can learn to be present in their body and feel what's actually going on. 00:24:38
So there are essential qualities are unity, harmony, positive energy, kindness. 00:24:46
Non judgmental and a good listener. 00:24:53
And their strength, their divine strength, is being able to see the whole broad perspective. 00:24:56
Death they They are a safe space for others. 00:25:02
But their fear is of loss and separation, that they'll be overwhelmed by their emotion. 00:25:06
They have this feeling that if we get in touch with what's really going on inside. 00:25:12
Anger or sadness with just overwhelming. 00:25:18
And so their core suffering becomes the sloth, or a pattern of resistance. 00:25:22
Kind of a shattered heart. I just can't move, so I'll just sit here and get my work done. 00:25:28
And not allow life to affect me. 00:25:33
In conflict, they space. They withdraw, mentally or physically. It's just like they may be nodding, but again, they've left the 00:25:36
building. They they don't want to be in conflict with you. 00:25:42
And then their fixation. 00:25:48
Is indolence or ruminating, withdrawing and talking to themselves. And what I mean by that I have told off so many people in my 00:25:51
head and they have never heard. 00:25:56
But boy, if I had ever gotten those words out, I'm sure it would have been powerful. 00:26:05
But, but that's the thing. Will you will plan what you're going to say or you'll you'll think about what you wish you had to say, 00:26:12
But it's really hard. 00:26:16
To actually move on that and. 00:26:21
The the pay attention point for a nine is when you find yourself just going along. 00:26:25
I'm fine. Whatever. I don't have an opinion. I don't care that that should alert you that you've kind of checked out a little bit 00:26:31
and maybe need to show up again. And growth for a nine is when they can be with the sacredness of their really strong emotions and 00:26:38
especially anger and just. 00:26:45
Feel and experience them. That's really hard for a nine. Do I have I I I saw a lot of nines on the machine. Do I have some in 00:26:54
here? 00:26:59
OK. 00:27:06
No, no. So that's I can relate over during COVID, I actually had a group, A zoom group for knives that I knew literally all over 00:27:10
the country from different things. And I just called it a meeting of the nines and it was just interesting to hear people in so 00:27:20
many different lines of work or relationships or just different people. 00:27:29
But we all struggle with so many of the same things. That's kind of encouraging when you find your people and realize I'm not the 00:27:39
only one that feels this way. 00:27:44
OK, so once the last of this group. 00:27:50
Anger is a natural and visceral necessity. The problem is when we don't deal with it. 00:27:55
Holding of anger is felt by others and moves people away from us and. 00:28:03
Often don't feel comfortable expressing their anger. 00:28:10
And so they hold it. It's. 00:28:14
A chronic frustration and they will often save you. I'm not angry, just frustrated. 00:28:17
But others around them feel that and that can separate them from the people they actually want to be together with and meet with 00:28:25
and. 00:28:30
It's interesting, but when we hold people in our heads with anger when we're thinking about them, it can really get worked up. But 00:28:36
if we can move that anger to our hearts? 00:28:41
And just kind of let it go, feel it, recognize it. It's easier to let it go. 00:28:47
The essential qualities are goodness, integrity, honesty and responsibility. 00:28:55
Once have a strong moral compass, they really want to do the right thing and live life the way it's meant to be lived. 00:29:01
Their divine strength. They have an innate connection to goodness, balance, purity, and a sense of sacredness. They know what's 00:29:10
important in the world, and they want to make sure that happens and protect others from the bad things in the world. 00:29:17
Somewhere they came to believe in their life goodness is expected of. 00:29:25
And their core suffering. 00:29:30
Becomes anger a sense that there's nothing good or sacred, and that causes that frustrated resentment. 00:29:32
And in conflict, they can become very. 00:29:40
I'm not angry, just frustrated. You can hear that in your voices. 00:29:43
And then their fixation can. 00:29:49
Judgment and resentment. They hold their position. 00:29:52
To the point that they're not even willing to look at another point of view. It's like they're going to hold their position. 00:29:56
Rather than being grounded and being present in the moment. 00:30:03
And they should pay attention when they become overly responsible or burdened, judgmental and perfectionistic like this has got to 00:30:08
go perfectly. I've got to make this happen. And for them, growth will be any sense of what's going on and that they don't know 00:30:15
what should happen because they always think they know what should happen. But just letting the moment happen without them needing 00:30:22
to define it or categorize it, if that makes sense. 00:30:29
So anyone? 00:30:37
OK, OK. 00:30:40
So tell me how many of you either? 00:30:44
Could relate to the one of those types, or you have somebody in your life that you're like, no, I'm not supposed to. 00:30:48
Speak for somebody else, but I'm kind of guessing that might be what they are. 00:30:56
Yeah. Of the gut triad, yeah. 00:31:02
Yeah, I've got it, Yeah. 00:31:06
One in my life for sure. 00:31:08
OK, Well and what will be helpful, some of the I have books over there you can look at for work, relationships, marriage, 00:31:10
relationships, children and relationships. But I'll also leave you some notes just to look through. 00:31:17
That was very helpful when my husband and I first were introduced to this, to go through and see things like. 00:31:25
Our numbers are three and nine, and we read through here the conflicts that threes and nuns in a marriage relationship might have. 00:31:32
They also. One of the books also has it for work relationships, and it was pretty eerie to think this is pretty much every fight 00:31:37
we've ever had. 00:31:43
How did that happen? And then we went through what these threes need to feel appreciated. And I read those things from my husband. 00:31:50
He's like, yeah, yeah. And I'm like. 00:31:56
Really, you know, it's like I would never think of that and the same thing in reverse. And so that was really helpful. But as you 00:32:02
start to see those things, then you work with people that you recognize are certain types you're like, OK, this might be something 00:32:10
they would appreciate, doesn't mean much to me, but it would mean something to them and that can really just kind of change the 00:32:18
trajectory of how the relationships are moving forward. 00:32:26
OK. So any questions on those before we move into the heart types? 00:32:35
One question. 00:32:46
Have you done this with a? 00:32:48
Prior to COVID. 00:32:53
During COVID or after COVID, it seemed like a huge. 00:32:55
When people were working at home. 00:33:00
What a good question. Yes, I actually did a workshop with. 00:33:02
Well, some an executive team at Chick-fil-A and they it was really interesting. I had to meet with each of them individually. Then 00:33:11
we met as a group, but it seemed like a lot of them were struggling. 00:33:17
With just the isolation and then trying to make all the decisions that their team needed to make. 00:33:24
But have to do it all over soon. That seemed to be. 00:33:31
Kept them in their own little worlds a lot. So it was kind of powerful to have them all come together in this capacity and talk at 00:33:37
this level. There were for me some surprising breakthroughs for a corporate, you know? 00:33:44
Group of men and women at that level. So yeah, I think coded certainly could have made a difference in how people relate. 00:33:52
Can I say one other thing about the gut triad? So I have a child who is a nine and. 00:34:02
Understanding. 00:34:11
His need for more downtime, just to be able to just how he's wired because he is such a peacemaker and and takes in so much of 00:34:12
those going around him, was hugely helpful. 00:34:18
To not just think he was completely lazy. 00:34:25
As a parent, but I just bring that up. I mean that's just one example that how I have found this so helpful is that understanding 00:34:29
this thing that this other person does that to you might be like well, what? Like they're a horrible person or they're whatever, 00:34:36
but understanding no that this is an essential part of. 00:34:42
Kind of where they're coming from and not to be so judgy. Well, and that to me that is the value of the Enneagram is it helps in 00:34:49
so many relational aspects of your life. Family, work, friends, just in a lot, in marriage and all those categories. 00:34:59
I'll take a little segue and just say just as you're going through the stance of all the numbers, you will see these breakdown 00:35:09
across the numbers, but three sevens and eights are the assertive numbers. 00:35:17
So if you find yourself being an assertive person. 00:35:25
You would most likely be one of those 3 numbers because those are the circuit numbers. 00:35:29
Ones, twos and six. 00:35:35
Are the dutiful members. They're going to have a strong sense of duty. 00:35:38
That you should do what needs to be done. 00:35:43
And then the fours, fives, and nin. 00:35:48
Are the withdrawing numbers. 00:35:51
That just means that's kind of there. It doesn't mean necessarily that their shower introverts that just that to care for 00:35:53
themselves, they withdraw more. 00:35:58
If that makes sense. So that sometimes helps when you're you have three of the numbers that are very different, yeah, then you can 00:36:03
look and think, OK, well this makes sense. Yeah, we're somebody has like an 8 and A7 as their two highest numbers. That would 00:36:09
definitely make you an assertive person. 00:36:16
OK, there you go. You can't miss out there. I have a son who is A7 with an 8 wing and when he was a teenager I was pretty sure he 00:36:24
was an 8 because he would argue with me on anything I said. 00:36:31
Now now as he's matured he's he's definitely A7, but he's got that strong eight wing and he is very assertive. 00:36:38
OK, so let's look at the heart types. 00:36:47
So twos. 00:36:50
Two's just long to have their hearts held in kindness. They want to experience the sweetness of life and the blessedness of just 00:36:52
being part of it. Real love is a part of their fabric or their consciousness. It takes them an unexpected directions and almost 00:36:59
never lines up to their plans. 00:37:07
To strive to make everyone feel connected at a heart level, not realizing that's not their job. 00:37:15
They need to connect to their own heart. Sometimes, feeling indispensable, they move towards others hurts and needs. 00:37:24
But feel left out because they have an inability to receive. 00:37:32
It's that's you hear, pride associated with twos. It's not pride like, oh I'm so great. It's pride of oh, I don't need anything. 00:37:37
Let me help you. I'll help you. But on the other hand they're really longing for somebody to reach out and take care of them as 00:37:43
well. 00:37:49
Their essential qualities are sweetness. 00:37:56
Love, nurturing, attention, kindness, caring, and generosity. 00:37:59
Their divine strength is they know when to respond and when not to. They're very good at connecting others and knowing we're all 00:38:05
connected. Their fear is of being unwanted or unworthy of being loved. 00:38:12
Somewhere they came to believe. 00:38:19
To earn love, you shouldn't have your own. 00:38:22
And that that core suffering, the pride taking care of others hearts but ignoring their own. 00:38:26
In conflict that can become patronizing, I have a two daughter and. 00:38:33
I felt that patronization many times in life. But as she's grown in her knowledge of who she is, you know, I can kind of call her 00:38:40
out on it. That's a beautiful thing about the Enneagram, having this language. Sometimes when you see somebody being one of these 00:38:47
ways instead of, you know, it's never really helpful to say, well, you're being really patronizing right now. But if you notice 00:38:54
someone is being that way, it's like, hey, what's going on? 00:39:02
You know, I really value. 00:39:09
Can we talk about what what you might be struggling with right now? 00:39:12
You can see these. 00:39:16
Things that they're trying to fight off and they're doing it the only way they know how. But if we can kind of bring them back to 00:39:18
the present, say I see you, I see that something is going on that can change the whole dynamic of the relationship you're having 00:39:24
in that moment. 00:39:30
Their fixation or pattern is flattery, which can become a defense against humiliation. And I want to say it's not a false 00:39:37
flattery, it's it's just kind of a way of taking. 00:39:43
Everyone's eye off of them and putting it on someone else so they will pay attention and give attention to others and point out 00:39:51
positive things. 00:39:55
But in a way, they're doing that so that maybe somebody will do that back for them. And I'm not talking about, oh, your dress 00:40:00
looks nice today, but more. Oh, you're so kind. Thank you for that. 00:40:05
When they're really hoping that someone will notice how much they've been doing and and reflect that back to them. 00:40:12
So that would be the Pay attention point for it to when you find yourself giving what you yourself need. 00:40:20
And then? 00:40:28
Is living with the anger, despair and bitterness and meeting them with kindness. 00:40:30
And recognizing that having those feelings and having those needs don't need to cost you relationships. They're just part of life 00:40:36
and who you are. 00:40:41
OK, twos. I need twos. 00:40:47
OK, Yep, that's good to know. 00:40:53
So. 00:40:58
I love that you guys are identifying with some of these and I think it'll be so wonderful for you as you move forward just to have 00:41:00
interactions. You know, these little books are not super serious, but just to ask questions. 00:41:07
If you go through them, the questions for your type will probably really hit you a little bit, whereas somebody else will just 00:41:15
think they're an interesting question, but they can be really insightful to do just around the lunch or something one day. 00:41:21
Just to get to know one another better. 00:41:28
OK, so. 00:41:32
Threes have hearts seeking to find fulfillment in what we're here for. 00:41:36
To lose the preciousness of their calling leaves them hollow and bankrupt and leads them to acting or fulfilling roles they have 00:41:44
in life. 00:41:50
It's almost like I kind of don't know what I'm here for. So I'm just gonna make things happen. I'm gonna get things done. 00:41:55
And the vanity is often associated with freeze, but it's not gonna be of oh, I'm so great. It's a longing to be the source of 00:42:04
value. That's what's important to them. Scratch the surface of all the activity going on and you'll find the wound. 00:42:14
Umm, and my husband's a three, so I know a little bit more about him. Threes can cry unexpectedly. 00:42:26
As kids, they were very. 00:42:32
And often overwhelmed by emotion, so they focus on tasks to manage their emotions. I'll just get things done. I will feel this. 00:42:35
I'll just get things done. 00:42:40
But sometimes that breaks down. 00:42:46
And they have a tremendous ability to adapt. They can tune into others needs to the point that they cease to live their own truth. 00:42:48
They can, whoever they're with, they can be what that person. 00:42:57
So, so, threes. They're essential qualities are they're charming role models, attractive, great mentors, confident, competent, and 00:43:04
efficient. 00:43:08
They could. Their divine strength, they contribute to radiance and glory, the part of life that's brilliant. 00:43:15
Their fear isn't being worth. 00:43:22
It takes a lot of work and activity to keep that false self in business in an effort to find worth. There's this fear that there's 00:43:25
really nothing there. 00:43:30
Somewhere they came to believe you've got to achieve. To be valuable, you have to be successful. 00:43:35
And so their core suff. 00:43:42
Is the terror of worthless? 00:43:44
And in conflict, they can become competitive. 00:43:49
Their fixation is vanity or deceit, and the deceit doesn't mean my husband was quite offended by that. He was so honest. But the 00:43:53
deceit is that you start thinking you are who you project to the world. And sometimes that becomes apparent. If when you're with 00:44:00
this group of people, you're like this, when you're with this group, you're like this, and then your worlds collide and it's like, 00:44:07
well, who am I? 00:44:13
And so threes need to pay attention when they find they're performing, more when they don't feel valuable. 00:44:21
If they're feeling like their value is slipping and they're just doing more and more. 00:44:30
And growth for them is not abandoning themselves and doing this, but just sitting with the emptiness and being OK with it. 00:44:35
So freeze we have. 00:44:45
OK. And that sounds accurate. 00:44:49
OK. And you had thought maybe you were two also, so well I'm right, I split two and three. You're probably either A3 with A2 wing 00:44:54
or A2 with a three like one point apart or whatever. So that that would make sense. 00:45:00
OK, so that. 00:45:09
That's a really of the assertive numbers. You will see that one a lot. They're often. 00:45:12
Leaders in the community, leaders and organizations, they get things done, you know? 00:45:17
Threes are great to have around. I'm married to one. He gets a lot done and it's great. 00:45:24
But just helping him, I think the beauty of the three is that when? 00:45:31
They can. They can be all of who they are, even when they're just doing very. 00:45:38
Non essential. 00:45:45
When we have friends over that have young children, my husband brings all of who he is into playing matchbox cars with them or 00:45:47
reading stories to him, and he's just as content to do that as when he's doing his job and, you know, really making a difference. 00:45:54
And I love that. That's the essence of growth for a three is just to bring all that you are to everything you're doing, whether 00:46:01
it's a valuable thing or will be viewed that way by others. 00:46:08
OK, for fours they are. 00:46:16
The plunge into the mystery Who am I, really? 00:46:20
What is the source of this existence? A heart filled with a ravaging sense of beauty that just tears them open. 00:46:24
Their heart has to be very supple and present to experience this. 00:46:33
Loss of their identity causes them to create their own identity. 00:46:40
And their own version. 00:46:45
Of what is perfect in life. 00:46:46
But without presence they can't go deep enough and this just keeps bringing them back to longing and disconnect. So it's almost 00:46:50
like this cycle of. 00:46:55
Oh, life isn't what I need it to be. So I'm just going to keep going back and looking for more. I'm always. 00:47:02
Sad that I don't get all that I need. 00:47:09
There are essential qualities or creativity, expression, sensitivity. They're very emotionally in touch and they really do have a 00:47:12
sense of awe at the wonder of life. 00:47:18
They know where their source comes from. They know that we've all been created uniquely and then everyone else has to. They 00:47:25
appreciate that, but their fear can be that they have no personal significance. I. 00:47:32
And so somewhere they came to believe I need to be special to have significance. 00:47:41
Their core suffering is going to be. 00:47:46
Kind of a rawness or sense of bleeding out. They just don't understand why others don't get it. 00:47:50
This ravaging sense of life and the pain that's there. 00:47:57
And so their fixation become can become fantasizing and melancholy. 00:48:01
It's just they create a world in which they are the center of it and others should. 00:48:06
Should recognize their. 00:48:13
And so they should pay attention when they find themselves fantasizing and creating an ideal that puts them at the center. 00:48:16
Growth for them is letting go of this story that they live at the center of and just to be with the pain and live with the longing 00:48:25
that we all experience. At some level, they just experience it. Maybe at a deeper emotional level. I don't remember having any 00:48:32
force as the top number, but. 00:48:38
Does somebody feel like that is one of their higher? 00:48:46
This would probably not be the kind of community I mean our job that a four. 00:48:52
Naturally gravitate towards so I mean that makes sense. Lots of artists, lots of very creative types. 00:48:57
But some of you may certainly have fours in your life so. 00:49:07
OK, so that was those were our. 00:49:14
Heart types. 00:49:18
And so did some of you feel like, despite what my highest number was, I feel like I might fit more in the heart category? 00:49:20
OK, so I have I have a question. I love that you have questions. 00:49:29
That. 00:49:35
The one that's in the fifth spot. 00:49:38
There's only six points difference in those five categories and I have 4:00 that are like. 00:49:41
Waste you towards the other end. 00:49:48
And they're very different categories. So I mean, it's challenger, enthusiast, reformer, helper and investigator. They're all like 00:49:53
this. 00:49:57
Five and then the four or the other ones that are like. 00:50:03
So I was just wondering like you typically see that like more of? 00:50:09
Well, one thing too and we'll kind of, I'll touch on that in a minute, but in health or in stress, we move towards other numbers. 00:50:13
And like. 00:50:22
One of the conferences I did four of the men on the leadership team. 00:50:24
Four out of seven were ones, and the leader of the team was a one. And so you know, lots of black and white, lots of getting 00:50:30
things done. But at the end of it, I looked at all their numbers and their lowest number was A7. 00:50:38
And a seven is where A1 moves when they're in. 00:50:47
They they become light hearted and love to have fun and that was the lowest number for everyone of those men and so. 00:50:52
When I mentioned that in this workshop. 00:51:01
Actually, the leader of the team almost teared up and said. 00:51:06
We're about to come up with our yearly plan and that's I'm looking at everything we have written down. Nothing is fine, nothing is 00:51:11
light. 00:51:15
And that obviously, has been one of the reasons. 00:51:19
This conflict because we're just so intense and we're not moving that way, so sometimes your number can replay. 00:51:24
If you've got a nine and a six as your highest ones. 00:51:33
That would either tell me as a nine, you move to six when you're in stress, so you're either A9 who's in stress. 00:51:38
Or you're actually a six, six move to 9. When they're healthy, you're a really healthy 6. So some of those numbers connect in 00:51:47
other ways. 00:51:52
And hopefully a little more that will be clear. And with the handout, you can kind of see, oh, this is how these numbers are. 00:51:57
Lined up together, I'm really maybe under a lot of stress here. 00:52:06
I'm really functioning quite well right now. 00:52:11
And that can be encouraging. 00:52:14
So our head. 00:52:17
Will there the five sixes and sevens? 00:52:19
Fives have the ability to eliminate reality. They want the real truth not to be comforted, comforted. They have the ability to see 00:52:22
what's actually going on, and while this is a mental operation, it definitely effects their hearts. 00:52:30
Being interested is not a cognitive function, but means they're involved and that they care. 00:52:39
The essential qualities of a head or intelligence, Curiosity, A whimsical nature and self containment. 00:52:46
Their divine strength is depth, clarity, illumination, and the capacity to lift the veil to show what's really there. 00:52:54
Their fear is of being useless, helpless or incapable somewhere they came to believe. 00:53:04
There's not enough to go around. 00:53:11
So they have a tendency to withhold energy so they can be prepared to have any for what they need. I I know a few thoughts and 00:53:14
they all told me, like, if they go out for an evening with friends, they kind of want to know what the plan is, and they're good 00:53:20
with that. But at the last minute, if somebody decides, throwing in a whole new thing, it's almost like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I 00:53:27
didn't. I didn't anticipate that. I didn't plan for all that. 00:53:34
So that's that can be something. 00:53:42
That they avoid and their core suffering is avarice, which is kind of the contact with the world can be so terrifying that they 00:53:47
just need to get rid of their needs. They just. 00:53:53
Need to not have connections and just to withdraw into themselves, and in conflict they can become antagonistic. They don't want 00:54:00
anybody to push them. 00:54:04
And their fixation? The pattern that can show up is emotional stinginess. 00:54:10
They can retain or remember everything. Not good to have a fight with A5 because they will remember every detail of what you said 00:54:16
or done. 00:54:21
But they can then kind of build a space station in their heads and just move into it and just stay there. 00:54:27
And that's for them. They're paying attention point when they're just retreating into their own minds. 00:54:34
And so growth for them is. 00:54:40
In contact, radical contact, because that which stores them to who they are and what they know and bring the truth which is a 00:54:43
great gift of the thought to be able to just. 00:54:49
State without strong emotion the facts. I love pods that it's like they could say something that someone else could say. To me 00:54:55
that would be very offensive, but it's just like that's just the fact, you know, they don't have any emotional connection to it. 00:55:03
They're just stating what is the truth. So it's great to have a 5:00 somewhere in your life. 00:55:12
To speak those things. 00:55:20
K5. 00:55:24
Even though nobody showed up is that it could. 00:55:26
In there for some. 00:55:29
Reading was like 5 is like the least. 00:55:32
Popular one. Yeah, it often shows up. Yeah, that could actually be. 00:55:35
I guess we just can't handle a lot of truth in the world. 00:55:42
Sometimes. 00:55:46
Yes. So it might be a few. He's an 8 that the five and two are both strong. That would be true. 00:55:54
Actually, no. Seven. Yeah, eights go to five in stress. 00:56:02
And. 00:56:07
7 Skoda 5 in. 00:56:10
Well, that means that's weird as much like 87125. OK, so yeah, like tears. 00:56:12
So yeah, I know, that's why the test can be. 00:56:21
I'd love for people to take him because I think it just gives them some insight, but sometimes you almost have to have somebody go 00:56:25
over it with you to kind of help you figure out. But hopefully just some of this information you can piece it together that way. 00:56:33
OK, sixes. 00:56:41
Six thing there. 00:56:45
They have a quality of attentiveness, sharpness of being on top of things. 00:56:49
That capacity for paying attention is a quality of awakeness. 00:56:55
Being interested in something is a heart quality. 00:56:59
But with sixes it's more of quality of devotion. 00:57:04
It's this beautiful quality of doing things, Whatever. 00:57:08
Is before them to do, but with a sense of wanting to do it well. They're not looking to get attention or affirmation. It's just 00:57:14
kind of you're devoted to doing what needs to be done, not to get credit or to look cool and. 00:57:21
Care about how we find meaning in existence in the bigger schema of life. 00:57:30
Umm, the six is about knowing what to do and how to do it. 00:57:36
And that just makes them. I wouldn't be surprised. Every organization needs a six. They make things happen. They get things done. 00:57:41
There are essential qualities are being dedicated, supportive, devoted, loyal loyalties, a really big one and a team player. 00:57:51
Their divine strength is guidance and devotion. They're awake. They pay attention. 00:58:00
Their fear is being without support or guidance, just kind of being left on their own somewhere. They came to believe the world is 00:58:07
a hazardous place, and their core suffering is fear or anxiety caused by what they're thinking. What might happen, Sixes can 00:58:13
really. 00:58:20
Get in this thing of, oh, this might happen, this might happen, and then they just can't get off of that treadmill. 00:58:27
And in conflict they can accuse. 00:58:34
Someone else? 00:58:37
And. 00:58:39
Their fixation or pattern is cowardice. They can't make up their mind. They can't do something. 00:58:42
They have the yes, but mind yes but yes but yes but and so it's hard for them to finally make a decision. 00:58:48
And so for them pay attention when you're looking for reassurance outside yourself because it's six. When they when they show up, 00:58:59
they are very courageous. When they are willing to just step out for what they believe and act on it, very courageous. But if they 00:59:05
but if they get caught in that loop of. 00:59:12
Yes, but I don't know. Tell me what you would do then. They can't see their truth anymore because they're relying on everyone else 00:59:20
to tell them what to do. 00:59:25
So anybody resonate with the six qualities? 00:59:30
OK. I was going to say if you're. 00:59:34
You will resonate with. 00:59:37
Because I'm a nun and I go to six when I'm under stress most of the time I'm pretty chill and like that, but my kids will be the 00:59:39
first to tell you that. Mom, chill out. You know, we have the whole throw pillow incident when we got a new couch and I was buying 00:59:47
new throw pillows and they were like, oh for goodness sake, this is not that big of a deal. And I was like, well, what is and and 00:59:54
that's when, Oh my goodness, I have lost control here. 01:00:02
Silly little thing, but it can be a little thing, or it can be something much more significant. 01:00:10
And. 01:00:18
The sevens. I love sevens. They're so fun. 01:00:21
Sevens who are awake and present live in a constant state of amazement. 01:00:26
They have a sense of delight and gratitude for the creativity of the world. 01:00:31
When they're not present, they try to be everywhere at once. 01:00:37
Confused about what they need to be doing, but very cheerful as they're doing it. 01:00:43
Their philosophy? I hate being bored. 01:00:49
Their eyes almost always sparkle and smiles come automatically, and then they just create reality around that. 01:00:53
And they could entertain themselves to death. 01:01:01
So their essential qualities. 01:01:05
Are. 01:01:09
There essential qualities or joy, freedom, enthusiasm, fun, new ideas and happiness. 01:01:16
Their divine strength. 01:01:25
Champagne in their blood. They keep the lights on spiritually. They they make others want to join in with what they're doing. 01:01:27
Their fear is of being deprived and in pain, the fear of being trapped and suffering. 01:01:36
Somewhere they came to believe the world wants to hurt me or hold me back. 01:01:43
And their core suffering, then, is gluttony. Not just about food, but the sense they won't get enough. So they always need more. 01:01:48
And in conflict, it's your. 01:01:58
They don't want to be in conflict with anybody. They just, you know, they just want to move on by it. 01:02:01
And so it's like, oh, sorry, I don't have a problem with that. You can take care of it. 01:02:07
They should pay attention when they're testing limits and not following through because something better is always coming along so 01:02:12
they're just constantly moving on. 01:02:16
Growth for them is patients with oneself, with reality and. 01:02:22
And with their own growth. 01:02:27
Being present with the ways they try to meet their own needs, if that makes sense, So that sevens resonate with anyone. 01:02:29
That was my highest. OK? Did that resonate some? 01:02:39
All except for. 01:02:43
Entertain themselves. I hate being by myself. Absolutely. OK well, entertain themselves to death, That's what that means. It's 01:02:46
like there's always a plan to be with more people, do more things. 01:02:52
The more people, the better. Yeah, yeah. My son who is A7 was he went to college here and lives in Atlanta now and he was home 01:02:58
over the holidays a few years ago and. 01:03:04
Was with my other daughter who's in nine, and he was like, I'm going to a Christmas party tonight. 01:03:10
And if I play my cards right, I think I could make 50 new people. 01:03:15
And I'm like, well, that just sounds awful. 01:03:20
And and yet it sounded amazing to me. 01:03:27
But it's wonderful to have those people in our lives to help us do that. 01:03:32
So I told you the things about the assertive people. 01:03:38
The three sevens and eights and the dutiful czar, the one twos and sixes and the withdrawns are the four fives and nines. So now 01:03:42
we'll spend just a few minutes talking about. 01:03:48
Kind of. 01:03:55
The outlets for these numbers, how they? 01:03:56
Deal with conflict or problems in their lives. That would probably be something that could be useful in the situations that we're 01:04:01
in. 01:04:05
So the positive group are the twos, sevens and. 01:04:10
They adopt A positive attitude. They want to reframe disappointment. They want to emphasize the uplifting aspects of life. Look on 01:04:16
the bright side. They have difficulty facing their dark side, and they have trouble balancing their own needs with others. So 01:04:22
specifically, twos tend to recognize the needs of others and are happy to help them with their problems while pushing back their 01:04:29
own. 01:04:35
So they kind of are very positively focused in helping others, but sometimes don't spend the time they need to take care of their 01:04:42
own problems or issues. 01:04:48
Sevens tend to focus on their own needs and can often fail to notice the needs of problems of others because they're just not 01:04:54
happy in a happy place when they're problems, so they're just going to keep moving on. 01:05:00
Knives tend to pay attention to the needs of others as well as their own. 01:05:07
And then that can make them feel overwhelmed. 01:05:12
And then they just tune out and don't respond to anything. It's just like, I'll just smile and go get some coffee for everybody. 01:05:14
And the interesting thing about that this is really helpful on a team as you go through, because this first came to my attention 01:05:26
on. 01:05:31
You know when we had kids and we were going to do yard work on a Saturday, well, we had four of us were positive outlook people. 01:05:36
And my husband is a three and he's a competency person, needs a plan. So all of us were willing to do the yard work, but we just 01:05:43
wanted to get out there and do it. No plan needed. And my husband needed us to have a plan. So that often didn't go really well 01:05:50
because we're like, oh, chill, let's just get it done. 01:05:57
And that's really important in a team to recognize that you probably all have very specific ways you approach how to deal with 01:06:05
things. And if you're coming from a different perspective that can cause conflict that doesn't even need to be there. It's just 01:06:11
what you need to move forward. 01:06:18
So the next group, the competency group, are ones, threes and fives. 01:06:25
They put aside their personal feelings and strive to be objective, effective and competent. They try to solve problems logically, 01:06:32
expecting the same from others. They have issues related to working within the confines of a structure system. They just want to 01:06:39
get things done, and the system isn't set up to get things done. That can be very frustrating, So ones play by the rules and they 01:06:46
expect others to do so too. 01:06:54
There is a right plan and that's the one they want to operate from. So once there's a right plan and it's usually the plan that 01:07:01
they come up with and they feel that others need to get on board with that plan. 01:07:09
Threes will play by the rules if that works. 01:07:17
If not, they're willing to bend the rules to get what they need to get done. 01:07:21
Does that make? 01:07:26
Resonate. 01:07:28
Bob's aren't so interested in the rules. They don't like being part of the system, so they just want to do it their own way. 01:07:30
They're not going to make a fuss about it or a lot of noise. They're just going to kind of do it their own way. And like, I love 01:07:37
how that can be helpful. At one point, my husband, his supervisor, and the supervisor over them were both. 01:07:44
Couldn't give you any details to how you would get to that point. 01:08:28
So sometimes just knowing that about people can be really helpful as you're trying to work through, OK, you need these people need 01:08:31
it to be positive and not talk about all the negatives, but these people need there to be a plan as we move forward. 01:08:39
And then the other group is the reactive group. 01:08:49
Or the Intensity group. There are four sixes and eights. They can react emotionally to conflicts and problems. 01:08:54
They had difficulty knowing how much to trust others. 01:09:02
They look for an emotional response that mirrors their own concern. They're kind of scanning the room to see who gets. 01:09:07
What they're. 01:09:14
They have strong likes and dislikes, and they can become resentful. They can have difficulty balancing their need for independence 01:09:17
and self determination, and this plays out a little differently for each of them. Forests tend to feel like they're always on the 01:09:24
outside looking in, and so they're very sensitive to slights or perceived slights. 01:09:31
Which they can take as a lack of support. So they're easily hurt and they tend to turn inward. 01:09:38
You know, six is one of these, seen as strong and reliable, but at the same time they want to be supported by others. 01:09:46
And that can make them defensive, so sixes can. 01:09:54
React by pulling into themselves and feeling resentful and not supported. Or they can push back. 01:09:58
So they can kind of go either way. 01:10:06
And then eight H usually are comfortable pushing back. 01:10:10
You know, they don't have any problem, like, OK, they'll push back. They're comfortable being the supportive ones that they don't 01:10:15
want to need others. So they've always got their guard up for others getting too close and they can, in situations of conflict, 01:10:22
get angry pretty easily. And so that's always good to know, to know yourself and to know if you've got someone on your team like 01:10:29
that, that you know it's like, well, we are going to get, can you tell me? 01:10:37
What this is causing to come up and you know, why are you feeling that way? So these are different ways that you can probably as 01:10:44
as we're talking about this, you can even think of interactions you all have had within your community and how that might be 01:10:51
playing out in some way. Does that make sense? 01:10:58
I have some handouts here that. 01:11:07
It drives my competent husband crazy that. 01:11:12
My competent husband crazy that I don't give. 01:11:21
Notes or handouts at the start, but I know that all I do is read them while somebody speaking, and I think it's harder to be 01:11:25
present when we have them. 01:11:30
So most of the things we've talked about are on here, but there are some things that I thought might be interesting for us to kind 01:11:37
of do as a group exercise. 01:11:42
Thanks. 01:11:57
So if you look on the page that just says Enneagram at the top, you can kind of look through and see under gifts we're drawn to in 01:12:03
relationships. 01:12:08
And I just wondered if you wanted to take a minute and look through that. 01:12:15
If there was some feedback you'd like to give anyone in the room about these are gifts were drawn to and others what do you see in 01:12:22
your? 01:12:26
Fellow coworkers that are things that you think, oh, this is something I really appreciate about you, Joe or Jeff, you know. 01:12:31
I'll give you a minute just to look through them. 01:12:48
So this may not be what you're asking or saying, Karen. 01:13:03
But it's interesting it seemed to me that Sharon, Toby and Joe all identify strongest with eight that correct which is really I 01:13:08
mean that that's. 01:13:14
That is. 01:13:21
Really good information. 01:13:24
And then? 01:13:27
Brian, I mean you know how I'm sorry if I'm putting a spot would after this because I know you had three that were kind of close. 01:13:28
Is there one you're identifying more strongly with no, I mean honestly I mean I was, I mean two and three were. 01:13:35
Right. Together, yeah. And then seven was a little further back. So I mean, and that feels right, I mean, you know. 01:13:42
And I was also two and three were near the top for me as well, very close, just within a few points. 01:13:50
So it's it's just really. I guess where it gets interesting is the dynamics between. 01:13:57
The different the different approaches you know and how and how to be most how to be most efficient in that regard too so. 01:14:03
Notice number six references at the end of paragraph. Two team player. 01:14:13
I mean, obviously for mayor, council staff, everybody to function together, everybody needs to be somewhat on the 6th spectrum I 01:14:18
presume. And for me, I was a 17 on a six. 01:14:24
OK, well, and I think on a team, that's true, They are a team player, but also, you know, the twos. 01:14:33
The threes want to get things done. 01:14:42
They want to make things happen, choose want to serve others and help them. 01:14:46
So I think there are a lot of aspects that you can look at. You wouldn't have to have a six, but you could have someone else who's 01:14:52
the two and wants to serve or through who just wants to get things done. 01:14:58
I think that would be also positive and threes actually moved to six when they're in health. 01:15:06
You know, it's it's like that's their sweet spot. They can. They're not just functioning for themselves, they become a team 01:15:13
player. So if you've got threes on the team who are very healthy, they're going to be at a six anyway when they're healthy. So you 01:15:21
don't have to be a six. You can be moving that way, if that makes sense. 01:15:28
Or A7 with A6 wing. But yeah, I did see just a high number of people who have those adaptive hearts nines. 01:15:36
Are so good to have on a team. Nuns often are very deep thinkers. 01:15:46
If they're. 01:15:52
I know my husband is a 3, and when he had to do evaluations, we're on staff with the Navigators, which is a nonprofit 01:15:55
organization, and as a divisional leader, he would travel to all the different college campuses. 01:16:02
And do evaluations of their campus ministries. And he would sometimes ask me to go along. And I felt like, well, I'm not part of 01:16:10
the evaluation. I don't really know what's going on on their campus. How would I be useful? And so I was. 01:16:18
Kind of slightly resentful and didn't want to do it, but I did and I realized that just sitting there and being quiet and being in 01:16:26
this situation. 01:16:30
I probably picked up a lot of stuff that no one else saw, and my husband really values that so I could. 01:16:35
Say things that I had observed that maybe nobody else had picked up because they weren't listening for that, You know, I could 01:16:44
tell this person. 01:16:48
Looked hurt, but they said the right. 01:16:53
So nuns are very intuitive. I mean their gut people, and they can bring a lot to a team in that if they're paying attention, they 01:16:57
can see tensions where others are missing them. They can see her feelings. I think every team would need nines. 01:17:05
To function well, I think it's a good lesson for us in terms of thinking about our format, because you almost have to make room. 01:17:14
For that processing in a safe place for that to come out, it seems like whereas we're making a lot of fast decisions and. 01:17:22
Move on to the next thing and OK, here's. 01:17:28
All right, make a comment. Here's 4 seconds. Or, you know, or we're boom, bang the gavel, take the vote and move on to the next 01:17:31
thing. So I think there's. 01:17:35
It's it's great to know that that there's members of the city with that mentality because. 01:17:40
I could see it could be totally frustrating if you don't feel like time is being left for you to be heard when you're processing 01:17:46
and thinking deeply about things. That's a great observation, and I think that's really true in that sometimes if you can. 01:17:52
If nods just a little bit of time and I know some decisions need to be made quickly but if you can even bring them up or send them 01:17:59
out in the memo before like these will be the decisions that we're going to be talking about to give them time. I know if I don't 01:18:07
feel I have the time in Group situation, I'll just say I don't you know and and I mean it at some level I don't care, it's fine 01:18:15
whatever you want to do you know that's just kind of my go to thing but if I know that somebody really wants to hear from me. 01:18:23
I can step up and show up, but I need time. I would have to say most nuns that I know are slow processors. It's it's not that 01:18:32
they're slow, but it just takes them a while to go through the layers of everything they've heard and to kind of act through it. 01:18:40
But actually, nines can have very deep insights into things. It just takes them longer to get there. And threes, probably, 01:18:48
possibly threes and sevens are the quickest thinkers. 01:18:55
Possibly AIDS too. They're assertive, they want to get things done, so they're moving quickly and. 01:19:04
You know, over the years of marriage, my husband has really come to value what I will. 01:19:12
Say about a situation and he knows that I can't just tell him like that. But also it's like, hey, I need to make a decision on 01:19:20
this. Could you take a day to think about it and then give me your input? Because I really want it and that makes me feel valued 01:19:28
and it also makes me step up rather than just abdicate and say, oh, it doesn't matter to me, whatever, is fine. Because for 01:19:35
nonsense it's kind of easier, you know, to just check out, but then we're not. 01:19:42
Bringing all of who we are. 01:19:50
And and what we can offer to. 01:19:52
And sometimes that's a wonderful feeling, to realize that you've taken something deeper and shared something that maybe nobody 01:19:56
else got the first time around. If that makes sense. 01:20:01
I'd say it, in past jobs I've had, I've done similar type things like this. 01:20:07
I think the importance of nods in our past experiences is that nines will help you to not make grass decisions, rash decisions 01:20:14
that sometimes will. 01:20:19
Give you the outcome that you int. 01:20:27
But you're making a decision but a nine. 01:20:30
Further down the road and process it. 01:20:33
And if they have that chance to speak up and boys. 01:20:36
They will point. 01:20:41
Farther out, obstacles that you may not be able to see in the short end, Yeah, that's a really good observation. I think that's 01:20:44
really accurate. 01:20:48
So with so many nines on your team to just figure out how to incorporate their voice into things that are upcoming that our 01:20:53
decisions you have to make would probably be really insightful and helpful. 01:21:00
And one thing, I wasn't sure we have time today, so I didn't really prepare notes, but. 01:21:08
I would like to throw out there. 01:21:13
There are. There's another way to look at the Enneagram, the instinctual variant. 01:21:16
And what that means is basically there are three and any number can be one of the three and. 01:21:22
Their social self preservation and the third one in most books is referred to as sexual. But that sounds it doesn't mean that it's 01:21:29
also called 1 to 1. And so in work settings that's more appropriate to use that one but it's kind of the way you're geared and any 01:21:37
number can be any one of those. But the social does not mean hey, I'm a social butterfly. It means you want to be part of a team 01:21:45
and you want everyone on the team to succeed. 01:21:52
You know it's not about I want to be in control. It's about. 01:22:00
The team leader would would just feel like a huge success if everyone on the team feels successful. It's about building a team, 01:22:05
making things run smoothly. 01:22:10
The self preservation is a little bit like what it sounds it's about, you know, they're very good at taking care of practical 01:22:16
matters, making things happen, getting things done. But it's going to be more of an inward focus, not just on themselves, but on 01:22:24
details and things like that. And the one to one people bring it energy and a creativity. 01:22:31
To something. So sometimes you may have people that you connect with in an organization that are not your number, but they're all 01:22:39
on the same page and how they want to move forward. 01:22:45
If you're social, you're you're constantly thinking about how to develop your team. What's going to make every person on your team 01:22:53
feel successful, what that's going to look like, what they need to succeed, how you can all work together. A self preservation 01:22:59
person is going to be paying attention to. 01:23:05
The individual needs what's practical. This is too much for this meeting. We're not going to get all that done. These people look 01:23:13
tired. Maybe I can go get a snack form. You know, they're going to be very focused on getting those things done. They want to know 01:23:19
what their job is and they want to do it well. 01:23:24
And then the the one to one people are about bringing the energy and the dynamic. 01:23:31
To the to the place, You know what? What needs to happen here? What makes us feel alive? How can we push the limits just a little 01:23:38
bit more to get everything done that needs to get done. So I know that's a very brief summary of those, but do any of those 01:23:44
resonate with you all? 01:23:51
One of those more than the other. 01:23:58
Yes. 01:24:02
Well, and I thought about this before and I appreciate you putting it in the work. 01:24:06
Perspective, because I've always just thought of it as. 01:24:11
I relate to people or how I enjoy being in social settings. 01:24:14
And I'm definitely the one-on-one. 01:24:18
And yeah, it's interesting. Yeah. So I really like. I've never thought about it from a work perspective. Yeah, I thought about it 01:24:23
with my. 01:24:27
Partners, yeah. And there can be some big differences, yeah. 01:24:32
So no. And and that is I think often you will find a lot of different of the numbers working together. Say in an organization 01:24:37
there can be a whole bunch of different numbers working together, but maybe if it's a social type, you know. 01:24:45
They're brought together by a common goal and a common outlook on life, like teachers or, you know, just different people like you 01:24:54
all. I would think there would be a high number of socials here. Not that it would everybody would need to be one, but you know, 01:25:00
you want to build a team, you want everybody to work together. You want to know what that's going to look like going forward and 01:25:06
how to make each member successful. 01:25:12
The one to one people bring some energy and drive and creative ideas and they make sure things never get stagnant. You know 01:25:19
they're going to keep throwing stuff out there. The self preservation people. 01:25:25
They're able to see the practical aspects. How is this going to work? What needs to be done? OK, that's a great idea, but how are 01:25:33
we going to get from point A to point B? And what are the steps that need to be done there? They're hard workers and they want to 01:25:38
make things happen. 01:25:44
But. 01:25:49
Everybody needs to be brought into that because if you have too many of one type, the momentum can get carried that way and then 01:25:51
the ones that are outside of that can. 01:25:57
Like, well, what do I have to offer here if that matters? 01:26:04
Yeah, it's. I mean, the social really resonates with me. I mean, like every organization or anything I've been involved with, 01:26:08
that's sort of how my brain works. But as you get more into more professional roles, you realize you can do all that you want to. 01:26:13
But if there's no nobody with a practical mind associated with it, then things sort of fall apart. 01:26:18
That's a great observation. 01:26:25
And I think the same way I hit all three categories earlier. 01:26:27
I believe that I'm a little bit of all three of these as well, just, I mean, so I want to do my job and I want to do it very well. 01:26:33
I want to be the best at what I do. I also bring up generally bring a lot of energy to what I'm doing and when I'm in a a setting 01:26:39
I want to, I want to help everybody be the best that they can be. So, well, that's great. Sounds like an Indian Grand Prix. Yeah, 01:26:45
bringing it all. 01:26:52
OK, well then let's look for a minute at the the tips for relating to the different numbers. 01:27:00
I thought this was particularly helpful the first time that I read through these, because sometimes. 01:27:09
I won't ask for names or anything, but there's always somebody on your team. 01:27:18
Is harder. 01:27:23
See eye to eye with You know, it doesn't mean you fight with him necessarily, but you just always know that it's it's not going to 01:27:25
go as smoothly as it does with this person. 01:27:30
And so as you figure out what you are and are able to share that with one another, then you can look through these. 01:27:36
And I'll just ask anybody in here, let's just go through if anybody's willing to share. If you kind of are identifying as an 8 01:27:44
under these things tips for relating to AIDS, which one of them ring true to you? 01:27:50
Which things do you wish your Co workers knew about you? 01:27:58
I'll, I guess I'll go I I, I because I've been accused of being too. 01:28:17
Aggressive. I'd like to say assertive that I have been aggressive. 01:28:23
And you know, it is brought me the wrong way because I don't tend to be. I think I'm just very driven and it comes across that 01:28:27
way. So I want people to know I'm not, I don't try not to be bossy. 01:28:32
I let my team know that we're on the same we're all playing together you know the same sandbox and try to make it work so. But I 01:28:38
think maybe outwardly there people have seen and think I'm aggressive and I think some of that's just I think all of us are a 01:28:44
bundle of our past experiences. And I was raised I'm an identical twin and so I was constantly trying to find my own identity and 01:28:51
that created a little bit of a of why I am the way I am. OK, thank you for sharing that. I think that's really just to read 01:28:57
through these and to be able to say. 01:29:04
And I don't mean to be bossy. This is just the way I'm wired together. And what I love about AIDS is that you can. 01:29:11
Pretty much say anything you want to them and not have them be offended, you know, because I mean in the sense that you can be 01:29:19
straightforward with them. You don't have to. Like, I feel like I'm always around some people trying to, oh, not offend them, say 01:29:25
certain things. But eights are very direct and they appreciate they respect people that will be direct and honest with them. Would 01:29:31
you say that's true? Yeah. And I would say that probably the, you know, that I tend to be direct and that can be taken the wrong 01:29:37
way. 01:29:43
Yeah. 01:29:49
Well, obviously, Sharon. 01:29:51
Like when you first said that you were an 8, I was a little surprised because like, I don't think of you as being an aggressive. 01:29:54
Like my perception of you is that you just get everything done and that you're a super hard worker. But I can tell you really care 01:30:01
about people and so. 01:30:06
But the more I've been sitting and thinking about, I'm like, Oh yeah, yeah, of course, Sharon today, that's how she's able to get 01:30:12
the mass amounts of things done. And also like things that sometimes I was like, oh, wonder if she's won because I'm an 8 and A1. 01:30:19
That black and white, I think you're, you know, would say you're more of a black and white thinker, but but I'm just saying I 01:30:26
don't see any. You seem very approachable to me. You don't see them at all. The the kind of sometimes negative things of an 8 I 01:30:31
don't perceive with you. 01:30:36
Well, good. Yes, I think you hit the nail in the head by talking about the aides who care about people, which is one of the ones I 01:30:42
underlined. I also underline don't take too personally. 01:30:47
You know, Omdirect or Sharon's director, whoever is. 01:30:52
You know, it's because we care into breadth point earlier. You want everybody to be the best they can be and you hold yourself to 01:30:56
that same standard. 01:31:00
It has to be perfect all the time. No, we have the need to think people. So when we feel like we disappointed somebody or you 01:31:14
know, quickly shut down the idea that. 01:31:18
Media Accounting I. 01:31:23
Yeah, that's thank you for sharing that. And I think that can be true. If you don't have a lot of confidence or if somebody is in 01:31:25
a position above you and they have a strong idea, it is easier just. 01:31:32
Abdicate and go along with it rather than fight back. If that's not your nature to do that, twos tend to move towards 8 when 01:31:40
you're under a lot of stress. 01:31:45
But that's very uncomfortable for them. I mean, they can come back and attack right back. 01:31:51
But but that's because they're really stressed out and then they don't feel good about themselves or about how that played out. 01:31:57
Would you say you thought you might be a too? 01:32:02
OK. 01:32:13
Have to just a little further investigation. 01:32:18
And I feel like you're totally engaged in an event and like, it's hard. 01:32:23
You get off a total 85, yes, like. I mean, like, you know, like possibly like. 01:32:27
And I forgot it and I just need you to do what you supposed to do. You know citizens and when you said that about two years 01:32:34
important eight because I might I've seen better sides of you and it's really interesting you know that it's like this which turns 01:32:39
on and you can you just anyway so so did anything. 01:32:43
I think we were. 01:32:53
Referencing an 8. 01:32:54
Not taking stuff like personally. 01:32:56
I grew up in a military background. My father was in the military for 22 years. So. 01:33:00
From the time I was born until eighth grade, he was a military. 01:33:05
So we've moved every 16 to 18 months. 01:33:09
To a different location. 01:33:15
You know, even though everybody's in the same boat. 01:33:17
I think part of me being that leaning towards that aid and not taking it so personal and not. 01:33:19
Being able. 01:33:28
Take that. 01:33:30
Growing up in that background, yeah. 01:33:32
You know, being able to brush stuff off and just, yeah, keep going, so. 01:33:35
That makes sense. 01:33:40
That people that you're dealing with in your day-to-day jobs who are like, deeply rooted, you know, they can like, here's my 01:33:49
thing, here's my precious piece of property, or here's my precious business or here's my, you know, here's this thing that I'm 01:33:54
totally invested in, right? 01:34:00
Yeah. You know you've got, you're breaking this different perspective to the table from where you are which is you know, it's 01:34:06
really interesting, you know so whether it's this business that they started or this building that they've had forever or this 01:34:12
thing that has been the same way and and we're kind of a change agent in that, you know so. So it is interesting to hear you 01:34:18
reflect some of that versus you know sometimes what your role is where. 01:34:23
Bumping into people who sort of have. 01:34:30
Whether it's on the images or not, because vastly different mentality. 01:34:33
The other side of what they're doing. 01:34:37
So I had about had a thought about either side of that. 01:34:41
Well, and that's the thing, even, that people that don't know anything about the Enneagram, the whole idea. 01:34:46
Of it. 01:34:54
To be present in the moment when you can stop and be present and just kind of sense, OK, this is not where this person is coming 01:34:56
from. They're not coming from where I am. 01:35:02
What could be going on with them? It gives you a different perspective. It opens up a different way to approach them, to ask them 01:35:08
questions, and to just kind of. 01:35:13
Sense where they might be coming from. 01:35:19
Yeah, knowledge of this is great, but just whether you have knowledge of this or not, that just puts you in a position to not do 01:35:22
what you've always done because it's comfortable to you, but to actually look at it from their perspective and to be able to 01:35:28
listen from a different perspective. 01:35:33
I do think and and this week's I mean I don't sit in staff meeting but it is interesting that we is like thinking about the 01:35:41
dynamic it seems like you have the the eight the very aggressive stance and then you have the withdrawal stances and so and not 01:35:48
really much in between like it's like withdrawing. 01:35:54
But yeah, I guess there are some beautiful mixed in there but to to make sure as an aggressive stance. 01:36:03
To to leave. And honestly, the same in council. I'm not an 8, but a three is in the aggressive stance and is, you know, moving 01:36:10
things along, which is probably why I'm very comfortable with AIDS. I'm married to an 8. I'm like Jerry's. 01:36:17
To figure out how we can leave that space. 01:36:25
For like I so appreciate. I think Chuck, Connie and Jeff are all and more of the withdrawing. 01:36:28
Or beautiful stances. 01:36:36
And so y'all are tend to be quieter behind the diocese. 01:36:39
And. 01:36:45
But whenever y'all do. 01:36:47
I think there's such thoughtfulness to it and such insight, and I know I value that greatly, and so I don't know if. 01:36:49
If on the council side of. 01:36:59
If y'all have feel like you have, I mean I know we get that we get the packet in advance, we get that you know we have we should 01:37:01
have time to process stuff. I also know that we all be very busy lives and there have been days that Wednesday is the day that I 01:37:07
am sitting down and reviewing the packet. I mean just being real about it so. 01:37:13
I guess I'm just saying, hey, if y'all are ever like Christine, like aggressive stance, ready to move things along, I need more 01:37:21
space. I want to be open to that and to hear that and to, you know, make room for that. 01:37:26
That sounds good. Well, let's look then we I just started because these are the ones on the page, but because eights are the most 01:37:35
assertive and nines are, I won't say the most withdrawn, but they are one of the withdrawn groups. How do you all that identify as 01:37:42
nuns or or feel like that's a high one? 01:37:48
What are those things that stand out to you that you wish others would take into consideration when they're working with you or 01:37:55
you're working with them? 01:37:59
So I'm not a nine, but I have a nine who is my city. And I will say that I know that I feel from I feel her at wanting me to slow 01:38:26
down and to set more. And I don't have, I don't really feel like I have the time and I try really hard. We try to do lunch or we 01:38:33
try, but I know that's something she needs and something that I tried really hard to give and occasionally I hit I'll pick that 01:38:40
up, but that's I think that's something I recognize actually. I think you do very well with that too. I do tend to be. 01:38:48
More withdrawn. 01:38:56
And since something. 01:38:57
We'll try to work on but. 01:39:00
Sometimes it's just easier I don't feel like. 01:39:03
My voice needs to be heard. I just feel like I just need to do. 01:39:07
And that's what I like. 01:39:11
You make the perfect clerk, though. I mean, you're very attentive. I mean very, very attentive. Your your notes are always 01:39:15
flawless. I mean it's. 01:39:19
You know, but you know and and it's very humbling, you know, to sit and watch. 01:39:24
How? 01:39:30
You love so much in sports, so much from behind. 01:39:32
And very, very seldom we take the credit for all the stuff you do. 01:39:35
One sharing your credit. When you have new people come in, you know, everyone's like how busy you are, often said. 01:39:40
She is very busy with a few scheduled time with her, like she's all yours. So schedule it and we'll get you attention you need. So 01:39:47
you are good at that, yes? 01:39:51
I agree. 01:39:56
I have to say I was a little shocked that Chuck was a nine. 01:39:58
And I don't spend a lot of time, but just from him managing a business for so long, I was a little. 01:40:02
I was surprised that he was. 01:40:09
Well the interesting thing about nines is that in health non smooth. 01:40:11
2-3 and they moved to like the good side of the three. They get things done, they run things, things run smoothly, they accomplish 01:40:17
a lot. But they're not doing it for the same reason that a three would. They're not trying to look successful and have everybody 01:40:24
value. 01:40:30
They're just getting stuff done and they feel a real joy in that. And so, you know, that's probably the side you see of Chuck is 01:40:37
that he is getting things done and he can run things. Three's actually. I mean nine's actually. 01:40:45
Run things very well and they can be very peaceful about it. They can do some of the things that none do and check out and not 01:40:53
want to deal with conflict, but they can make things happen when they want to. I think that's the thing we forget sometimes is 01:41:00
that we do have a way that we function in our strength, in our health. 01:41:07
It doesn't mean we stop being that number that we are, but it just means we take on the attributes. 01:41:15
The healthy side of another member without taking on all the bad stuff, so to speak. And when you're in stress you go to 01:41:23
somewhere. It's kind of like your blow off steam valve. You go to a number that's really not like you at all. A nine would go to a 01:41:30
six because nines don't tend to worry a lot and be anxious and do all that, but that's where they go to. Does that bring true 01:41:38
Chuck, If you're under stress, there's a lot more anxiety and. 01:41:45
You're just not sure it's the right thing you want to do the right thing, you're more fearful or things like that. 01:41:54
And then you know and then lastly is the one, so nine, six and one, well one could be if you're a nine, see I'm a nine with A1 01:42:01
wing, the one could be. 01:42:06
Your seasoning package that you know, I tend to. I can be judgmental at times. I usually keep it to myself, but it's right there 01:42:12
under the surface because I have that black and white of a nine at times. 01:42:19
OK. Any ones I don't, I'll go through the ones I will skip, like fours or fives if you're not there. 01:42:37
For anyone that identified as a one to these, I was close to tide for my second OK, 27 on a 22 on a three and 20 on the one. OK, 01:42:44
OK, so any of these are and we don't have to do them go by, go through them one by one. But as you're looking through any of 01:42:51
these, especially pertaining to the ones that you must feel you identify with, what are some of the tips that you wish others knew 01:42:57
about you? 01:43:04
One was my second highest. I only got like 2 points. And I would say sort of again, just the way I was raised, my mom, I would say 01:43:23
my mom and my dad were very. 01:43:28
Trying to drive us, they would. 01:43:35
But I think it can be taken there. It can be taken that whole place. I've worked really hard at that I. 01:44:10
That's great. 01:44:16
It makes sense for an attorney to be a one. 01:44:21
Black and white. 01:44:25
I suffer a little bit from the black and white. Brian has used the word context with me a number of times over the years, but he 01:44:26
may have used it with Sharon once or twice too. He always likes to tell me I. 01:44:32
He's right. I don't like Gray. 01:44:37
Yeah, Yeah. And and I think you look at it two ways, right? That's a point of conflict or it can be a point of harmony, right. You 01:44:41
know, so there's some. 01:44:45
You know, there's some of us back here who are very comfortable living in the Gray. There's some who aren't. And, you know, I like 01:44:50
to think we can find the right mix of that together, You know, if it's all black and white. 01:44:55
It's, you know, that may as well be an engineering firm instead of a City Council, you know, Right. So there's, you know, it's 01:45:00
you've got to, we've got to find a way that we can do both. 01:45:04
But umm. 01:45:10
But I think in the, you know, I think we've been pretty intentional about the roles that we've got people in because there are 01:45:12
things. 01:45:15
If you don't have anybody who's. 01:45:18
Black and white and detail driven then your your whole operation is a mess. So you know I can all day long push things and try to 01:45:21
get things done, but if we never take a deep breath to document. 01:45:26
How we got there, while we're doing it, you know what the, what the right policies and procedures are, then it's going to be a hot 01:45:31
mess or things fall apart, you know, so. 01:45:35
That's what I like about. I think we have a really, you know, well-rounded team, you know? 01:45:40
You know, in terms of the skill sets that we have in the city. 01:45:46
There's my compliment that I offered as a 2. 01:45:50
To everybody in the room, right? 01:45:53
It does take a little bit of everybody to make the world go round. Yeah, no one perfect person is perfect and so you know it. 01:45:56
All all types of people. 01:46:06
To. 01:46:09
Yeah. And I think that's the idea is, you know, what do we learn about each other going through this where you can kind of take 01:46:10
that shortcut or recognize, OK, this is my moment when I'm not at my best, or this is their moment when they're not at their best 01:46:14
and realize, hey, it's. 01:46:17
What do we do to, what do we do to offset or deal with that? You know, that's the power of these processes in my mind for 01:46:21
organizations. 01:46:25
As leaders, since I'm high on one, Sharon's very high on one, things resonate here is. 01:46:30
To create rapport, respect their integrity and take things seriously. Sharon takes everything very seriously. She wants it to be 01:46:37
perfect. I tend to have those characteristics as well. 01:46:42
And so, I mean, that's why in part, she is your manager. She takes the responsibilities very seriously. 01:46:48
Well, and how helpful it is just to be able to as you read through these even if you're not 100% sure what everybody is? 01:47:02
These are good things to just keep in mind. You probably have a strong sense of, you know, oh, this person does do things black 01:47:10
and white, get things done. So let me just be careful to consider this about them, the ones that are more withdrawn to to try to 01:47:16
draw them anymore. 01:47:22
Just to have these tips, did you read through? And, you know, in your own personal time you can even jot down, oh, I should do 01:47:30
this a little more for Christine or I bet Connie would like it if I did this. 01:47:36
You know, just write these things down as you're present with them to just pay attention. Sometimes we miss a lot and not being 01:47:42
present, we don't see how somebody maybe. 01:47:48
Immediately agrees with us because they don't want conflict or it's too much. And so that might be if you know that they have a 01:47:55
tendency to be a nun and you see, I'm just immediately agree with you, you could say, hey, but tell me what you think. 01:48:03
What do you see might be the shortcomings of this idea? 01:48:12
We can engage one another in ways that bring us all to be present, because I think the withdrawing numbers in general. 01:48:17
I won't say tend to be less present. 01:48:26
But that's just kind of a place where they live a lot of their. 01:48:28
But on the other hand, even the assertive numbers cannot be present because they're so busy getting their plans done that they're 01:48:33
not slowing down. 01:48:38
To to be present in the moment because they just want to get stuff done. So that would be, I think the goal of how you guys could 01:48:43
figure out how could we use this, you know, just for you individually. You may just make notes for yourself. 01:48:51
Here's how I would like to use this in the coming weeks. You know, who would I like to pay a little attention to? 01:48:59
And see what they might need from. 01:49:06
I don't know exactly how all of you work together, but I'm sure there are times when you do come together that maybe. 01:49:10
Some people were easier to work with than others. Or you sometimes feel like I just feel like we're missing each other and that 01:49:18
might be the people to be thinking about how you could. 01:49:23
You know, take some of these tips and move towards them that way. 01:49:29
If that makes sense. 01:49:34
Question. Oh yeah, yeah. 01:49:37
This is my highest score of the tie between three different numbers. 01:49:39
And they're all in three different. 01:49:44
Categories. What are they, 290? 01:49:45
296 OK. I was curious are. 01:49:50
Many of us are. In general, do people have three highest numbers, or some people just one number or two number or what? 01:49:53
I mean, again, this, this shows patterns. The test shows patterns. I think sometimes that can be confusing. It's not like you take 01:50:02
the test and that's who you are. Those would be 3 numbers for you to really look at a little more on your own time. You know the 01:50:09, I think it is. They have excellent material. It's and and you can do a little reading on each if you don't 01:50:17
want to get a book or anything. They just have really good material and it's very sound. 01:50:24
You can go there and you. 01:50:33
Look up those 3 numbers and one of them, the nine in the six, intrigues me because those are related. 01:50:35
You know a nine goes to six and stress A6 goes to 9 in health. So the fact that those two or two of your highs. 01:50:43
Would make me tend to think. 01:50:52
You might be a nine or a six. Now the two could be you're just a genuinely helpful person and and that that you tested high in 01:50:56
that as well. So, but to start with those 3 numbers, one feature of that site that I really like it, you can look up and say how 01:51:04
A2 and a nine look alike, but how they're different and that will actually really help you think, oh OK then I'm more this than 01:51:12
that. This resonates more with me. 01:51:20
Because some numbers outwardly. 01:51:28
Look very similar, but when you really, the Enneagram doesn't deal with behavior as much as it does motivation. 01:51:30
So only you. 01:51:38
You know what your motivation is behind something as opposed to, but taking the test, it may come up. 01:51:41
Very skewed like. 01:51:49
Although that's not as cute as you would think in terms. 01:51:51
Some of those characteristics would be very simple similar. 01:51:55
Easy to be around. Helpful. Dutiful. Those are probably all characteristics of your life. 01:51:59
It's just as you look at it and see the things that. 01:52:06
Hold you back. 01:52:12
Make you feel uncomfortable might resonate. One might resonate more than the other, if that makes sense. 01:52:14
Are there any other thoughts or questions? 01:52:23
Karen, how have you seen organizations? 01:52:26
Use this or have you seen you know on an ongoing basis to? 01:52:28
To maximize effectiveness or harmony among teams. 01:52:33
Well, just now and I don't usually do it. 01:52:38
Big corporations. The one thing I did with Chick-fil-A, I didn't really enjoy that. If I'm real honest, that was just a little hot 01:52:43
corporate for me. But it was interesting after that talk with. 01:52:48
One of the the team leader's wife. I had met her in a seminar and a year after that she got in touch with me to say. 01:52:56
Three of the people on that team started really utilizing these concepts. 01:53:07
And now they. 01:53:13
Have moved way higher up in the. 01:53:15
And two of them thought it was kind of lame and didn't really do anything. And they're fine. They're exactly where they are. And 01:53:19
she said. But but it's really insightful and taking these things to heart and incorporating them. 01:53:26
Really made a. 01:53:34
And that was real sweet for me to hear because I didn't know how that went. 01:53:36
But I've done it with a lot. 01:53:42
Campus ministry directors and their. 01:53:45
And it feels like they've, they've had a language to discuss things with instead of coming and butting heads over and over. It's 01:53:48
like, well, I see because you're this, this is real important to you. And I've not been paying attention to that. I'm not wired 01:53:55
that way, you know. So how could I help you get this done in a way that you're comfortable with. So I think it's given dialogue 01:54:02
to. 01:54:09
To people who didn't know how to communicate about things, about stresses within the organization. So instead of, you know, 01:54:18
rolling your eyes or quietly holding in frustrations, you can approach it from a different perspective and be able to share things 01:54:24
in a way that others. 01:54:30
Can relate to, you know, I know that you know you don't like to come out and state your opinion, but I really want to hear it, You 01:54:38
know, that would be good for a nine to hear or other numbers as well. Does that make sense? Just I feel like giving a language 01:54:45
that's non threatening in a way to talk about things. 01:54:52
I mean, you never want to do things like say, oh, you're such a one, you're so annoying. 01:55:00
Which it is possible and does happen. 01:55:06
But umm. 01:55:11
I think in general it can be really helpful for people to. 01:55:13
Interact in a way in a new way, and to be able to have a language to give voice to those differences. 01:55:18
I hope that's helpful. 01:55:28
Yeah, Thank you. Yeah. To me it seems, I mean, it's just another tool in our toolbox. Yeah, the way to and and and I think we all 01:55:30
strive. 01:55:33
All of us in this room strive, we're all in public service in one form or another. Yeah, and so. 01:55:38
Constantly trying to find a way to improve and try to figure out a better way. You know, I don't like angst. I'd rather not have 01:55:44
somebody coming in here screaming at me. I'd. 01:55:48
Had that often ahead of time by doing the, you know figuring out what needs to be done and so but understanding when we do have 01:55:51
those people how we can better. 01:55:56
Work with them and react to them and and meet their meet them halfway or meet their need. And so I think it's it's real insightful 01:56:00
really like having this well and then remember and I guess in moments of stress to you know like I think that's also a lot of 01:56:06
times we have events we have may have through the years we've obviously had different challenges. 01:56:12
Also give you a place to look at. OK, this is when. 01:56:19
This is the trigger for me to watch for when I'm at my worst. You know? OK, this is, you know some. 01:56:21
On the line here. So that's that's helpful to me, you know? 01:56:27
One of the little books over there. 01:56:30
I mean, there's a lot of really good books over here, but this one is kind of a fun one. 01:56:36
And it's basically, it will have little cartoons. And there's one that I always thought was really funny. It's like people before 01:56:45
a party. 01:56:49
And like what? Just little cartoons of what they're thinking. And then a few pages over, it's people after the party and you go 01:56:54
through them again, what they're thinking. And the one for the seven, the box is empty because they're still at the party. 01:57:01
So it's just kind of a fun little book, you know? If you wanted a resource that would just be fun but insightful. That one's nice. 01:57:10
I've done a lot of workshops. The same author did one. 01:57:17
For the Enneagram of parenting, and I can't tell you how many young families have said it's been so helpful because it's you're 01:57:24
not trying to put your kid in a category. But you read through and it's like if your child exhibits these behaviors, they might be 01:57:32
this and this is maybe how you motivate them to do homework or to get chores done. And I had one mom. 01:57:40
Who is really an executive type And she just butted heads all the time with her seven-year old daughter and she was a three and 01:57:48
she figured out that her daughter was probably an 8. 01:57:54
And so they were just colliding all the time. 01:58:01
And she said after doing that, it was like, oh, I realized where our weak points were. And I started approaching her this way and 01:58:04
things are going so much better. So I think. 01:58:10
Parenting and I have adult children now, but two of them are really interested in Enneagram, and that's given us a great way to 01:58:17
talk about issues in their life that probably we wouldn't necessarily talk about if we didn't have this kind of language to do it. 01:58:26
So feel free to look through those books over there. I just, I always like to bring them because people often ask me what book 01:58:35
would you recommend? These are some of my favorites. But again, the Enneagram Institute has wonderful information and that won't 01:58:42
cost anything. You just go on their website, that's the website you would have taken the test on. 01:58:49
Having come from, I worked as a big corporations. 01:58:59
And what I'll say is you. 01:59:04
Management. Umm. 01:59:07
People tend. 01:59:09
Gravitate towards like minded people. 01:59:10
And when you have a big corporation, you have this one branch. 01:59:13
In this one area versus another and I'll use Lithonia lighting as an example that I work for. 01:59:18
You know, typically what happens is. 01:59:24
There becomes too much of that like minded. 01:59:27
Pursuit or Underst. 01:59:31
You know, that's when they send them their corporate headhunter. They call them headhunters, but they're basically coming in there 01:59:33
and cut, trimming fat and also. 01:59:37
Cutting away people and putting people in there to have a different perspective and. 01:59:42
Basically. 01:59:47
Restarting the engine to innovation and stuff like that. 01:59:49
And you know, I mean that's I think that's important for you know, not that. 01:59:54
You know, we all have the same goal, but. 02:00:00
Keeping that diversity. 02:00:03
Which is what I read into this is keeping that diversity gives you. 02:00:04
That engine continually running and yeah and you know knowing that that engine is healthy versus. 02:00:09
You know, you're only putting gas in it, putting the oil in it. So before long the gas will keep you going, but the oil sees up 02:00:16
and stop the engines. Yeah, that's a good analogy. 02:00:21
Well into I think. 02:00:28
We probably all have people that. 02:00:31
Naturally connect with and some that just serve naturally. Hard course to be around and sometimes this can give us a little more 02:00:34
insight into why that is. Just I'm worried this way, they're worried this way. This is probably the points of contention. 02:00:41
And so just to better understand those that you work with because you all are in a service industry and. 02:00:49
You care about the people you serve and the community you serve, and so you all are on the same page that way. But you're probably 02:00:57
coming at it from different perspectives, and the more you understand that and work together, then just the better the job will 02:01:03
be. 02:01:09
So I want to be respectful of the time, I think. 02:01:16
We're supposed to end at 11 was that correct? We have we do we have a little bit more time probably about half an hour if you if 02:01:20
there's no I'm, I'm fine. I just didn't want to. 02:01:24
Part about we keep going through this, yes, yes, yes. 02:01:28
So relating to twos, we could do twos and threes together because we'll probably skip fours and fives for right now, since I don't 02:01:34
think we had any. 02:01:38
Those are too short. 02:01:43
What are things that you appreciate about these types? 02:01:58
And and maybe things that you've not thought about but that. 02:02:03
You're like, oh, OK, when I'm around this group of people. 02:02:08
That's always hard for me. 02:02:13
Well I'll I mean I'll share so that I know the mayor and Christine are both twos or tend to be strong twos and I I really do and 02:02:17
this is going to be I really do appreciate both of them have taken time at least me personally. I know they've done it with the 02:02:23
other staff members as well and other council members even for that matter, you know writing notes or letting us know how you know 02:02:29
how we're doing and they appreciate us and all that and I just I've not I would say I'm not really good at take. I mean I I really 02:02:35
appreciate it. I really do. 02:02:41
I just feel very uncomfortable because I because it's because I'm here. I'm doing a job. I mean, and I appreciate that. It's kind 02:02:48
of an odd thing to say, but I'm just not used to taking in, you know, that kind of stuff. 02:02:53
Maybe that's where that's coming from, but uncomfortable. Yeah. So thank you. I appreciate that. 02:03:30
Another aspect of twos. I know that I underlined the word partnership. 02:03:37
You know, I've heard both Brian and Christine use the word collaboration or collaborative or similar. 02:03:41
Many times and it's that engaging and working together back again to the teamwork. 02:03:47
And and I guess Jeff you you were you were tied out but you're too as well, so you're not. 02:03:53
I try to be very nice, but I don't. 02:04:02
Write the cards as much as that standpoint. I don't mean that as. 02:04:08
You said nine and six, yeah? 02:04:15
And you could be more. 02:04:20
Just have a bent towards being a helper, a giver in the sense of it too. But maybe you're more in the nine and six category 02:04:22
because, you know, I'm, I'm a nine. I can write notes of encouragement, but sometimes I forget to do it. I'm right there with the 02:04:28
don't forget to do things. 02:04:34
I'm wondering if some of it is the combination of 2/3. 02:04:42
Like Brian was like we almost have to say 237. 02:04:46
Because threes also like two people. Like because we want to be valued, we're we're following the golden rule. We're doing to 02:04:52
others what we would want to be done and so letting you know so. 02:04:58
If I am feeling appreciation to someone, I say and it's genuine. It's not because I want to hear back, but I just. 02:05:05
Yeah. 02:05:11
Something that I appreciate and so I'm going to share it, but if it's too much let me know. 02:05:13
Genuine. Like. 02:05:22
So whatever, if I ever say I'm appreciative. 02:05:25
100% genuine thought. 02:05:28
Well, yeah, I mean, I think just, there's so much for me that's just rooted in gratitude to everybody who serves, you know, so I 02:05:31
mean. 02:05:34
I have a heart for service. I always have. But it kind of you know when I look around and I'm always kind of like blown away that 02:05:38
so many other people share that and it just it to me that's. 02:05:42
Powerful and inspiring, and I think it creates a really great heartbeat for our community. So yeah, I mean every time, every 02:05:46
meeting, every. 02:05:49
Time I intersect, that's that's my emotion is tends to be gratitude and thankfulness. 02:05:53
You know, because it's it's not easy. You know, it's no fun when every time you go out to eat and somebody asks you about what's 02:05:59
going on with blah, blah, blah. And I know we all deal with that, right? And you know, what's what's the, what's the situation 02:06:04
with this when you know sometimes, you know, hey, I just want to be a regular human being and not do that. But everybody here is 02:06:10
dealing with that every time they step foot outside outside this building and. 02:06:16
And that's that's not easy. And it's all a choice that we make and a sacrifice that we make. 02:06:23
You know, so I just, I have a lot of gratitude for everybody who tackles that because I know it's. I know it's not easy. So yeah, 02:06:29
echo what Christine said, you know it's. 02:06:32
But I think it's those relationships that. 02:06:37
Create the lubrication that makes it tolerable, right? If we didn't have those with each other and. 02:06:39
And we're doing it for our citizens and like, OK, why am I doing this? Is certainly not doing it. 02:06:44
For myself or you know, but it's what do we what's that? What's the magic that you create for the other people here that we're all 02:06:49
doing. So it's. 02:06:53
I think that's where the two came home for me, even though I wasn't thrilled when I first saw, it was kind of, yeah, at the end 02:06:57
that that does resonate. So you know. 02:07:01
I appreciate that. That's really good insight. 02:07:06
This is, you know, like I said. 02:07:10
I'm not overly flattering. 02:07:12
Maybe because I'm more introvert. 02:07:15
But some of it is realizing. 02:07:19
Like there's one here. Avoids conflic. 02:07:21
That's me. 02:07:23
To a tee. But I didn't ever. I honestly never realized I. 02:07:26
Until maybe was discovered a couple years ago. 02:07:31
And then kind of decide, OK, another problem. I'm going to say I have a problem. 02:07:34
It's amazing that. 02:07:38
You actually talked about it. Double doesn't become a boulder, you know, So it's like talking about it's uncomfortable at first, 02:07:40
but. 02:07:43
Yeah. And you move on and you're much happier. Yeah. And for me, that was not something that was. 02:07:48
That's an issue I had. 02:07:54
Once I realized that, it made it easier to say hey. 02:07:56
I. 02:07:59
Yeah. 02:08:02
I think that's the nice thing about this is realizing. 02:08:03
I didn't realize some of the things I. 02:08:06
Yeah. And I think that's really true. Sometimes we're hard on ourselves because we can compare ourselves to others that seem to be 02:08:08
strong in areas we're not. But we, we tend to all not think of ourselves. 02:08:16
For our own strengths, but like he said, as a nine, I don't like conflict at all and. 02:08:24
It. 02:08:30
Very powerful to be able to just say for me it's I started with just. 02:08:33
Hey, I'm angry. 02:08:40
You know, sometimes I couldn't even verbalize what was wrong initially, but just to acknowledge that to myself and then out loud. 02:08:41
Gave me that entry level point to start sharing those things and so I think that's great that you guys are aware of that. 02:08:48
Within this context, because I'm sure a lot of you have different opinions on how to achieve the same goals, and so to be able to 02:08:55
understand that everybody wants the same thing but you're coming at it from different points of view could be really helpful. 02:09:04
I mean, I think it's important to. 02:09:14
Fight for us. 02:09:17
Joe, Sharon and myself that measured high on. 02:09:19
Just because we're ace doesn't mean that we're align. 02:09:23
Because eights can have the difference of opinion, which means there's that conflict, just like, you know, people that are twos or 02:09:26
threes. 02:09:31
You know you have that conflict. 02:09:35
Because you're a three, but you're a three would. 02:09:38
With this thought and a three with this thought doesn't mean that all threes mesh together. All nine is mentioned guys. Exactly 02:09:41
true depending on. 02:09:45
You know where you stand on the subject if you are aligned and yes, you will gravitate in but. 02:09:50
You know, so understanding that just because you your rank a certain number, you see yourself as a certain number. 02:09:57
It's definitely within the situation. 02:10:04
Or the thought or what? 02:10:07
Whether you align on that as well, right, or whether it'll be, you know, it's just kind of the way you approach things, not 02:10:10
necessarily that you'll agree on on how everything should be done. 02:10:16
Well then how about the sixes and sevens for anybody that kind of want to look over those, we just do those. 02:10:24
The tough part of taking the test is sometimes I wanted to answer the question of what I think I want, what I want to be seeing, 02:11:08
what I am. So I tried to not think in answering the question. The first one that spoke to me is. 02:11:14
Very quickly and just went like. 02:11:22
I felt like I didn't relate to either one of them. Truthfully. I was like. 02:11:26
I didn't relate to yet likewise, but I think no good answer which was the less the worst answer. 02:11:31
Those two, well, I think it's interesting what you 2 just both said, you know you just kind of went with your gut and an 8 is a 02:11:39
gut type and a nine would be a gut. I literally did this whole thing in 20 minutes. It said a lot 40 and I just some of them it 02:11:45
was hard they were the which was the least worst answer. 02:11:50
Feelings are tough and I think depend on the. 02:12:00
The question that you. 02:12:04
Your mindset was relating it to work, or relating it to family, or relating it. Which then which person am I? 02:12:06
My answer is based on family relationships, personal relationships, business relationships. 02:12:15
And well, and then. 02:12:21
Again, tests are never with the Enneagram, the most reliable indicator of your type. It just kind of puts you in the ballpark. And 02:12:25
if you're interested, not everybody is. Some people are more comfortable. 02:12:31
With other personality style tests and things. But if you are interested and you're willing to put a little time and thought into 02:12:38
it, you probably can narrow it down to oh OK, this one really resonates with me at a deeper level and you know. 02:12:48
Close friends, partners. 02:12:57
If they're interested to talk to them about it, because sometimes other people in your life will see it even more clearly than you 02:13:01
do. People that know you well, it's like, oh, you really seem like this one. 02:13:07
You know this seems more like the you I know, especially if they're looking if it's your husband or wife or partner and you're 02:13:14
looking at it and. 02:13:18
And you're not seeing a lot of these things and they're saying, oh, I see a lot of these things. 02:13:23
That can be good or bad, but you know, that's that's an interesting thing When I work with couples that I don't know and mostly I 02:13:30
do that over zoom, but. 02:13:35
It's always so funny if they know their types before we meet. 02:13:42
I can often say, well, I bet this would probably be an issue in your relationship and I just list some things. 02:13:48
And inevitably, they're sitting there looking at each other, like, how does she know this? We've never met her and it's not. It's 02:13:56
more like, well, if A2 and A1 are married. 02:14:01
These are probably going to be issues they're going to deal with because of the way they're wired together. It's. 02:14:07
You know, it's just going to happen. 02:14:13
But then it's like it's out in the open and we can talk about it not from the perspective of you always do this, but. 02:14:16
Oh, OK. This matters to you and it doesn't to me. And this matter, you know, vice versa, So. 02:14:24
I'll give you a funny example that just occurred to me and you know, Mark, I don't want to put you on the spot, but I am. We were 02:15:43
walking out at Thomas Farm last Friday. We were walking on Thomas Farm, looking at the, looking at the trails and just and you 02:15:49
know me, I'm like, this is so amazing. It's going to be awesome. Think about how beautiful it's going to be in marks. 02:15:54
Marks like I haven't, it not wasn't the work, he said. I haven't even really been able to process this because I can't get my 02:16:00
brain wrapped around well, he said the work, but it was more like the plan, like what the plan is to get this ready. 02:16:06
Yeah, yeah, so you know, so you have, you know, you have. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, in his mind, it's like there is no plan to 02:16:13
accomplish all this stuff that you're talking about it in mind. I'm like, this is going to be so awesome. 02:16:18
And so I feel your pain reading this, you know? 02:16:25
Yeah, yeah. 02:16:30
Anyway we've got 100 acre park that we've got to bring to we're going to bring to life. We're not going to have to we're going to 02:16:34
bring to life in the next year And but you know but Sharon just said to me the other day is like staff has a lot of questions on 02:16:38
how we we're going to accomplish this and I'm like yeah we're going to have to answer a lot of questions quickly so we can get 02:16:42
moving so. 02:16:47
That's exciting. Yeah. I don't know if you feel, I mean, we get together as DDA. 02:16:51
Director and chair, because you're much more of a detail, like have a plan and I am all the possibilities and the ideas and so. 02:16:57
Thank you for your graciousness and for doing the details so that it actually. 02:17:09
I mean, if idea people didn't have detail people, it would be a really messy world. 02:17:15
Well, I think it's so interesting. 02:17:21
Two and six are my highest but umm. 02:17:24
I've also done this personality for telephone emergenetics. I don't know if you're familiar with that, but. 02:17:27
Like when Brian made a comment that I was like going to boss lady mode, I don't know if it's so much that I'm going to eat that 02:17:32
I'm super structured. And so I do like, I need a checklist. I need I love an Excel spreadsheet, like, make the list, get things 02:17:36
done. 02:17:40
But that comes out as structure. 02:17:46
In that other task, right? 02:17:49
Yeah. 02:17:53
What were your colors? Remind me? 02:17:55
Top sermon, Yeah. Yeah. I'm red and yellow. Yeah. OK, yeah. 02:17:57
Yep. 02:18:02
Well, are there any other thoughts or questions? 02:18:06
Well, maybe just a observation. 02:18:14
Because I because everybody, because I got all of them said to me, I know what everybody is. So you've got the key. I have the 02:18:18
keys. 02:18:22
It was just kind of interesting. I'm kind of curious. Well, so the mayor and council, not including Julie and Joe, there's three 02:18:28
twos and two nines and 1/7. 02:18:32
Interesting. So you've got helpers, peacemakers and enthusiasts. So I mean as and I know some of y'all were tied. 02:18:37
But I have two. Well there and there are there's a two. If you look at the top three, because that's I guess those are the top. 02:18:46
The top three that came out there are two of y'all scored threes, so it's just interesting. And then on my staff I have two 02:18:51
eights, A92 sixes, A1 and A2. 02:18:57
Which is interesting. 02:19:04
228 No, I mean, again, I'm not. I'm leaving out Joe because Joe's actually Joe's an eighth. He tends to. I mean, he works on both 02:19:07
sides, you know, he works both administrative and on the legislative side. Mark Campbell didn't take it, but I would guess he's a 02:19:11
four or five. I don't know. I was thinking. 02:19:16
Yeah, he's our city. 02:19:25
Yeah, maybe a five. I guess it'd be worth it for him to take it though too. So you got the whole thing. 02:19:28
When he gets back. 02:19:33
Yeah, I had to keep bothering people to take it about the most to say, so you've got something out of it. 02:19:36
But it yeah, it's interesting. Not really any fours or fives, really a lot and and a few threes, but you know, heavy in the twos, 02:19:44
nines, eights and sixes, I guess. 02:19:50
I don't know any insight into that. I mean is I mean again, I guess just the public service side of it maybe does it tend to those 02:19:57
hot types, obviously you need eights that can make things happen. The two sevens and nines are going to be positive outlook 02:20:02
people. 02:20:07
You know, and I would think with all you're doing, you need a positive outlook. 02:20:14
So just keep moving and getting everything done. Eights are great for giving structure and. 02:20:20
Pressing on through the hard stuff and ones you need those ones. 02:20:27
People that have the detailed vents threes can also be very detailed and organized. 02:20:33
So you know again. 02:20:40
Your top number or your second number could be your wing or could be a way you go in stress. But it didn't surprise me overall, 02:20:43
looking at all the numbers that this would be a service organization. You know that you're based on helping others and looking 02:20:51
forward and getting things done. I thought it was kind of a beautiful picture of the right people coming together to make things 02:20:58
happen, and you need a few aides that can. 02:21:05
One of their names and some of the books is the Challenger, and that's not a negative thing. But to ask good questions and to make 02:21:14
sure things are moving, that's really necessary as well. 02:21:19
I think the gap I just call out for us to remember with no fours and fives is to be let's. 02:21:26
You know, we do have a very creative. 02:21:31
Component to this community that probably is not represented. 02:21:34
On our staff or our City Council, you know, in terms of our arts community and oh calf and maybe some of the smaller entrepreneurs 02:21:38
who are doing like, you know, totally taking a gamble on what they're doing, you know, so. 02:21:45
I don't know what to do about that, but maybe just a little call out for us to remember that that it's going to be hard for us to 02:21:53
see that perspective a lot of times. 02:21:56
That those people might have and some of their passion and emotion about things, you know so. 02:22:02
Let's just keep that in mind. That's an excellent observation. I mean, it even makes me think, is there any kind of time you could 02:22:08
invite a small group of them to just come and, you know, put a question out there? What would you like to see creatively? We just 02:22:15
want to hear from you. I mean, if it's not a meeting, even to send out an e-mail to some of the people, I think that's a great 02:22:21
idea. They would probably love that and you might get ideas. 02:22:27
As you're moving forward like, oh, we could definitely incorporate that. 02:22:35
That's a great insight. Some of us may have. A spouse like my wife, for example, will be all four and five characteristics, very 02:22:41
artistic, intelligent, in touch with our motion, opposite me and every regard. 02:22:48
Seems to happen a lot. 02:22:56
I actually sent my wife. I paid the $12.00 and sent my wife to the test while we've been sitting here. 02:22:59
She is very much the the calm to my storm. 02:23:08
That's great. It is so incredibly helpful in marriage. I will just say I. 02:23:15
I am married to an 8 and if I did not understand the anagram I think I would be crying a lot more and I appreciate his his like I 02:23:20
don't. I cannot take things personally and it is hugely helpful. And then he and I both have the same amount of energy so we're 02:23:28
always moving forward with projects, which also has some. 02:23:35
So false we have to tell each other like I paid no, no more than. 02:23:43
So anyway, but it is so interesting and helpful to understand your spouse and how. 02:23:48
Well, Karen, thank you. I think this has been, this has been time well spent and really appreciate you making time for 02:23:55
Watkinsville, spending time with us this morning. My e-mail is on the front of one of those sheets I gave you. So if you have any 02:24:00
follow up questions. 02:24:05
Anything like that, just feel free to e-mail them. And can I just ask you this, just in general this is. 02:24:11
Do you do like if anybody here is more interested in like with their spouse or with a child or with a particular coworker, do you 02:24:18
do individual coaching? Like is that something that you are you have space for in your schedule? I do. I mean, I do some for the 02:24:25
organization I work with, but yes, I have I. 02:24:32
Do outside people too. So yes, feel free and I can send you information about that. I've done it with. 02:24:40
Couples with I've done it in a lot of differe. 02:24:47
Context. 02:24:50
Sometimes it's just helpful to kind of go deeper into your type. That's why I use the test, because if I have your scores, I can 02:24:53
ask better questions individually to help you get to what your actual number is. 02:24:59
It it's just kind of a starting point, but it helps me kind of to know the relationship between the types. So yes. 02:25:08
Answer. 02:25:16
All right, we will take a short break and gather back in a few minutes. 02:25:20
Well, we're going to have lunch. OK? Yeah. Why don't we take 5 minutes, people, go to the bathroom, then we'll come back and 02:25:25
remember, it'd be easier for me not to have to turn this all off. 02:25:30
Turn yours off, but it's still alive. 02:25:39
Thank you. 02:25:46
All right. So a few years ago we came up with vision, values, and and. 02:35:07
Some important statements of alignment for Council and every year I like to review these for two reasons. One, so we can all 02:35:14
remember them, but also. 02:35:19
To make sure that we all still agree that these are that these are appropriate for us, what I like to say about your vision and 02:35:23
your values are they're the ultimate filter for your decision making process. 02:35:28
And so for Watkinsville, I think our vision and our values and chair and I feel like there's a there. Is there anything more to 02:35:35
this or is it just this? Yeah, OK. I want to be sure we had the Watkinsville way up there. 02:35:39
So just I really want to take a few minutes for us to look at these together. I'll read them out loud, Sharon, if we go back one 02:35:44
more. And I just want to make sure that heads are nodding or if if there's things that you guys feel like, hey, maybe we need to. 02:35:50
You know, take one away or add something else or think differently about this. I want us to do that because I like to use these as 02:35:56
a litmus test for decision making when we have challenging decisions, You know, there's a lot of times when we're aligned and it's 02:36:00
easy. 02:36:04
And they move through it. But there's other times when we're not or there's other times we might be aligned on a challenging 02:36:08
decision. 02:36:10
But ultimately, we have code to fall back on. We have the law, but you have also have decisions where you've got to use your gut. 02:36:13
And so I think it's important that we align around these things. So the vision we agreed on a few years ago create Georgia's most 02:36:18
compelling community by honoring our history, building community and creating opportunities for citizens to engage and do business 02:36:23
with one another. 02:36:28
Every day, our values were our efficiency, transparency, inclusivity, creativity, kindness and connectivity. 02:36:34
If you want to go the next page, I'll read those and then we can talk about. 02:36:42
And in the Watkinsville way, we will be a connected community. We will seek to create connections for our citizens through 02:36:46
thoughtful design of our built environment, hosting award-winning and well attended community events, installing a modern 02:36:50
technology infrastructure. 02:36:54
And fostering connectivity between neighborhoods with non automotive infrastructure. 02:36:59
The second one, we will honor our history while welcoming innovation and accommodating change. 02:37:04
From public art to historic homes, we will honor our history and creativity while planning carefully for the future. 02:37:09
Our community is anchored on a walkable, historic downtown with an evolving mix of restaurants, retail shops and offices. 02:37:14
And 3rd, we will provide opportunities for all as a welcoming and inclusive community. We will make all ages and types of citizens 02:37:21
safe and comfortable by offering a mix of housing types, special events. 02:37:26
And businesses that support different populations. 02:37:31
And create infrastructure that allows our citizens to age in place. 02:37:34
I think that's it, right? Sharing those. 02:37:39
So anyway. 02:37:41
That time of year where things evolve, vision values ways evolve wide. Open to feedback. If this still feels like us, then this 02:37:43
feels like us. If we need to tweak it, if we need to make additions. 02:37:49
If we have other thoughts, I'm all ears, but I just really wanted to be sure we. 02:37:55
Were grounded in the. 02:37:59
Vision values and. 02:38:01
Purpose, which is ultimately what I would call this. 02:38:03
Before we jump into another year. 02:38:07
So I've. 02:38:09
Think this is incredible. I mean, I think. 02:38:11
What? What aspirational? 02:38:15
Words, and I think that we are honored. 02:38:18
I think we are on our way for doing. 02:38:22
Most, if not all of these things. There were a few things that kind of. 02:38:26
Stood out to me that we're doing super well and then a few things that's kind of stood out to me that I think. 02:38:31
We should focus a little more on that. We haven't been. So I don't know if you want to go that in the weeds or if that's for 02:38:40
coming up after lunch like that. Should I just jot down the area? Why don't we touch on them now and then we can come back to 02:38:45
them? Because if it doesn't mean if it means we're good. This is still going to be our aspirations and what we want to do. We 02:38:50
don't change anything here, but let's go ahead and call those things out so we don't forget them. 02:38:54
I think that's fine. 02:39:00
So I I feel like we're doing. 02:39:03
A really good job as we're looking at historic preservation to start focusing on that so that we can, I mean that is sprinkled 02:39:06
throughout as a core thing. So I'm glad we're really focusing on that. I think transportation wise and having a walkable 02:39:15
community, we're working super hard on that many, many aspects there. I think we really try to be welcoming and inclusive. 02:39:23
I will say. 02:39:33
Something that has come to mind as we are looking at economic development as part of DDA is. 02:39:36
How do we balance and make sure that? 02:39:43
We still can be economically. 02:39:47
Inclusive that we don't develop everything to the point that we. 02:39:50
Become a very expensive community. And so I think that's a hard balance, but I want to be mindful of that. I want to be mindful 02:39:57
that we still have a place that. 02:40:02
An entrepreneur who doesn't have a lot of capital or or a lot of resources can have a place with inexpensive rent. 02:40:09
Or and maybe we end up creating those opportunities through our DDA that we have those places with the inexpensive rent to help 02:40:17
launch people. 02:40:22
So I So that's that's a thought. And then also. 02:40:29
The modern technical technology infrastructure, I think we've had great strides in that, but I think we still have room for 02:40:33
improvement with that. I think I think maybe we have some systems that we can hone a little bit and I know we're constantly doing 02:40:40
that and I know those things all cost money, but I I feel like there's some technology things we could probably tweak. 02:40:47
To be more. 02:40:54
As a community. 02:40:57
Great. 02:41:00
Any other feedback on all this? 02:41:05
So at night I I too think these resonates still very well it's you know having an all inclusive environment and city is very 02:41:09
important and and I I do appreciate the words Christine said. You know continuing to work towards this this community being a live 02:41:16
work and play not just a a work and play but you know the people that. 02:41:23
Work here need to be able to live here as well, so that's that's very difficult to do in. 02:41:31
You know the ages of Holmes causing $1,000,000 and that. 02:41:36
So figured out how we how this is a community. 02:41:42
For everybody. 02:41:46
I'm glad you called that out. I mean that has since this has been written. I was looking at some numbers the other day. I think 02:41:52
home prices have gone up. 02:41:55
Anywhere from 45 to 65%, you know, just in the past three years in our community. So it's it's. 02:41:59
It's definitely a challenge. But yeah, I do think, you know, when we wrote this, there was no Miracle League playground. There was 02:42:04
no, you know, I don't know, the Harden Hill sidewalk I don't think was underway. I mean, there's been a lot of things that we've 02:42:09
done, you know? 02:42:13
Inclusion, but you're right, the one that's so market driven tends to be the real estate piece and I think we will have to be 02:42:18
really thoughtful and creative in the next couple years as we tackle that. 02:42:22
Well, and I think, you know, don't forget you do have a low income housing tax credit group that's coming in that's going to offer 02:42:27
some. 02:42:30